The Buffyverse Character Countdown (#31)

Welcome to another long-term list project (yes, I will be posting the top ten greatest 90s songs soon; it's been somewhat delayed). A few years back, I ranked the seasons of one of my favorite television series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer. That same year, I also completed watching Buffy’s spin-off and companion series, Angel. While not nearly as strong as Buffy, Angel does contain some truly excellent episodes and presents several profound philosophical dilemmas. Taken together, the two series might as well be the most rigorous analyses of feminism and existentialist philosophy ever to make their way onto Western television. Buffy certainly focuses on the former, as it is a drama about growing up, whereas Angel is a series more dedicated to existentialism and other issues that beset adults. Buffy the Vampire Slayer is almost entirely fantasy-driven, featuring tropes from both children's series and soap operas. Angel, by contrast, is more of a procedural show - it has moments of levity, but it's often somewhat dry as compared to its sire.

Yet for all of their philosophical and dramatic differences, both series have one factor in common: character-driven storytelling. Though both series are rife with complex symbolism, rich cinematography, clever dialogue, and appropriate theming, it’s the character writing that makes both series work as well as they do. It felt right to pay homage to all of the great characters of the Buffyverse with some sort of countdown throughout the month of July. However, given the tremendous number of great characters in both series, it seemed unfair to do an arbitrary top 50 characters and clump them all together or - even worse - compile a gargantuan top 117 characters like Buzzfeed and fail to analyze them. Instead, I’ve decided to do something different – a double countdown of the series’ heroes and villains.

The Buffyverse is at once host to some of the most inspiring and thought-provoking protagonists in television history as well as some of the most despicable and horrifying baddies of the small screen. Both deserve analyses and evaluations on their own terms, as clumping all the characters together onto one giant list does a disservice to their function within the narrative. How can the villains stand up to the heroes on a general list, given that the heroes are given far more time to develop? It simply wouldn’t be fair. I’ve thus come up with a double top 31 list for the heroes and the villains of Buffy and Angel – one for each day in July. I’ll be evaluating both sets of characters the following set of criteria.

The Heroes

1.  Overall Development – Just how much do these heroes grow? Are they static, fulfilling a brief narrative function and then disappearing? Or is their story more complex?
2. Narrative Execution – Are these characters enjoyable to watch? Does the direction and acting mirror the quality of the writing?
3. Virtuous Standing – Just how heroic are these heroes? Certainly, flaws are central to every great character, but are they able to surmount them? If they don’t, is there something to be learned from their failure?
4. Philosophical Intrigue – Just how much latent potential is there within these characters to explore broader questions of philosophy, politics, and humanism? When are they at their most interesting?
5. Real-World Impact – Are these characters in any way reflective of reality? Are they abstracted ideals of what we want, or do they feel real, perhaps even attainable?
6. Personal Preference – The X-factor category, in which I’m allowed to adjust a ranking based on how much I personally like the characters.

The Villains

1. Personality/Character Development – Are these villains static one-offs whose sole function is bringing out positive growth in the heroes? Or do they have arcs of their own?
2. Narrative Execution – Are these characters enjoyable to watch? Does the direction and acting mirror the quality of the writing?
3. Appropriateness of Allegory – Since nearly all Buffyverse villains are metaphors for real-world evils and problems, does the villain adequately highlight humanity’s vices?
4. Diegetic/In-Universe Achievements – Just how dastardly were these villains’ deeds? To what degree did they inspire change in our heroes?
5. Personal Preference – The X-factor category, in which I’m allowed to adjust a ranking based on how much I personally like the characters.

Undoubtedly, these lists are subjective; series with casts as diverse and engaging as those of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel leave tons of room for wide-ranging opinions and differing tastes. However, these are the characters I feel represent the best of good and evil to be found within this fictional universe’s complex moral atmosphere. It should also be clear that this list will contain plenty of spoilers for both series: should you be interested in entering these series with all of their twists intact, then you should probably not read along. That said, if you don't mind a few spoilers in the name of sparking your interest in a new set of shows, then I encourage you to read along for the remainder of the month. This list is a testament to great writing, effective direction, and powerful acting: these are the top 31 best Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel heroes and villains.

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Hero #31: Connor (Angel Seasons 3-5)

The YouTube Channel, The Passion of the Nerd, put it the best: Connor. Is. The Worst.

I honestly questioned whether I was obligated to include Connor on this list, as he might just be the single worst thing to happen to the entire Buffyverse – a dour sourpuss of a character utterly absent of joy, psychological intrigue, and interest. He's so unpleasant as to make the audience member want to throw his container of mint gelato at the television screen rather than force his way through watching Connor's detestable mug for more than ten seconds at a time. I even pondered putting Connor on the villains list, as he ends up doing much more harm than good within Angel's plot, let alone its quality as a series. However, I soon realized Connor is so detestable and ineffective that he wouldn’t be able to make the villains list by its own criteria, as he's too clumsily written and performed to serve as an interesting antagonist. All the same, he is the main plot point of two seasons of Angel, becomes a member of the main cast, and is one of the most important characters in the series. To lump him into a set of unmentionables would be a disservice to his character. So… let’s talk about this sack of s*** character and exactly why he doesn't work.

Connor is the son of two vampires - Angel and Darla - conceived with the destiny of killing the demon known as Sahjahn, one of Angel's most forgettable antagonists. Unfortunately for Connor's earthly happiness, Sahjahn manages to re-write part of the prophecy foretelling his death to read that "the father will kill the son" - the implicit suggestion being that Angel will kill his own infant son.  Wesley, in order to save both Connor and Angel’s soul, kidnaps Connor in order to spare him from his father's wrath. Unfortunately, in a tragic turn of events, Connor ends up abducted by one of Angel’s nemeses, the demon hunter Holtz, and trapped in a hell dimension for most of his juvenile life. Then, thanks to the time differential between dimensions, Connor leaps back into Angel’s life after becoming a broody, non-emotive, yet unbearably smarmy teenager bent on destroying every demon he comes across. He's remarkably good at destroying these demons, but he's also remarkably good at destroying good television.

Connor’s “arc” mostly comprises of his negotiating loyalties between his foster father, Holtz, and his real father, Angel, the former being bent on killing the latter. Were the writing in Angel Seasons 3 and 4 better than it is, this narrative could actually have gone somewhere, producing genuine torment within Connor and making his ultimate decisions all the more heartbreaking. We know how devious yet sincere Holtz is, and we know how virtuous yet unresponsive Angel is, so there is a great dynamic motivating Connor’s development. Yet it’s here that the writing and acting undermine any chance Connor could have had to become a fascinating character. Vincent Kartheiser uses all the emotion of Shadow the Hedgehog, creating a character comprised of 90% angst, 9% stupidity, and 1% pouty lips; thank goodness he redeemed his career with Mad Men. The writing, however, is the true enemy, as it makes Connor out to be a complete idiot unable to see through the simplest of ruses. Connor goes along with Holtz’s schemes whilst hardly questioning them and is a general a****** to everyone around him. He’s about as charming as a pile of rocks. His humor is the same hit-or-miss one-liner style used by Angel himself, but, given Connor’s lack of comedic timing, not a single quip lands. His fighting techniques make him a practical Mary Sue for the entire second half of Season 3. Not only does Connor's frustrating writing and dialogue make him a tremendous missed opportunity, but he's genuinely unpleasant to watch throughout the season.

And that's before we get to the hellhole that is Angel Season 4...

Throughout Season 4, we’re faced with a Connor who has gone completely bananas. He murders innocent people in order to protect himself from the wrath of his so-called friends. Later on in the season, in perhaps the most disgusting scene in the entire Buffyverse, he has sex with Cordelia – his freaking foster mother figure – and helps give the Big Bad of the season, Jasmine, a corporeal form. He then becomes one of Jasmine's most dedicated disciples, allowing her to ruthlessly devour her subjects without so much as looking on in shock. Though he does end up killing Jasmine, he ultimately enters a depression and… commits an act of domestic terrorism, strapping bombs to himself, a comatose Cornelia, and dozens of innocent men, women, and children. If for some reason the audience member hasn't learned to hate this self-righteous, preening douchebag by this point, then I think his or her moral center is seriously lacking. Angel provides Connor with a spiritual/time-traveling re-do such that the boy has no memories of his painful life, allowing for a moment of redemption for the character at the end of Angel’s fifth season, but the damage has been done and then some.

To praise a character like Connor for his virtue or to praise his redemption would be wholly disingenuous and disgusting. Angel might frame itself as a series that makes us want to like Connor, but it seems to go out of its way to make Connor the least likeable and admirable “hero” in its entire catalogue. The character almost singlehandedly ruins a season and a half of the show, and it’s genuinely painful to watch. He fails every single one of the criteria for heroes in the series, and the only reason he makes the list at all is his outsized impact on how the universe developed. Honestly, I’d rather have put any number of minor characters onto this list instead of him. But, no, instead I have to mention the whiny, Oedipus complex-ridden, preening, insufferable terrorist and murderer as one of the good guys because the writers of Angel said he was a hero. Yuck. 

Villain(s) #31: The Initiative/Adam (Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 4)

I hate these guys.

There’s no doubt in my mind that Adam and the Initiative are the worst long-term villains in the entire Buffyverse. In fact, they only make the list at all by virtue of two factors: they did have a long-term impact on the plot regardless of their lack of effectiveness and entertainment factor, and because I clumped them together. Needless to say, neither of these villainous forces is in any way compelling or fun to watch, and though they do achieve quite a bit within the diegesis, their lack of actual character makes them genuinely unpleasant when stacked up against the other Big Bads of both series. While they are at least slightly better than forgettable villains such as Angel Season 3's Sahjahn, they do not work as primary antagonists whatsoever.

The Initiative, the main villainous collective of Buffy the Vampire Slayer’s fourth season, is a government task force whose mission is to eliminate demons throughout Sunnydale. At first, the group operates in parallel with Buffy and the Scoobies, since both are trying to destroy genuinely dangerous monsters. However, Buffy and her friends soon discover that the Initiative's methods are, to say the least, questionable, given that the government operation captures many demons and conducts wholly inhumane experiments upon them. The rift comes to a breaking point when the Initiative's true motivations are revealed: their goal is not to destroy demons, but to instead use demon genetics to create an army of super-soldiers that can be used for paramilitary functions. In short, the Initiative is essentially the living incarnation of the military-industrial complex that one's conspiracy theorist cousin fears most... only with more demons and less shadow banking. But though the Initiative's plan is indeed sinister, the Initiative members themselves are quite boring. Since they're a collective of soldiers who do not question orders, they feel more like drones than actual antagonists.

We only gain insight into two villainous members of the Initiative to any substantive degree: director Maggie Walsh and lieutenant Forrest Gates. Walsh is the more interesting of the two, since she is at once Buffy's psychology teacher in Season Four, Riley's mother-figure and mentor, and the creator of Adam - the Initiative's prototype super soldier and the ultimate Big Bad of the season. She's a villain who tries to keep her appearance professional and her presence imposing. Unfortunately, Lindsay Crouse's performance comes across not as cold and menacing, but instead muted and stoic. Her dialogue, for the most part, is expository rather than developmental, as she sets up the missions of the day and fawns over her creation. Her expressing jealousy towards Buffy for taking Riley away from her is an interesting development, but it's barely given an episode of exploration before Adam impales Walsh and removes her from the plot. Forrest, Riley's best friend, dislikes Buffy's intrusion into the Initiative's operation and, much like Walsh, becomes jealous of Buffy's relationship with Riley. Yet, unlike Walsh, his potential is even smaller, as he is a military drone to the core. Once Adam kills him, he becomes a soulless zombie whose only function is dragging the plot along and giving Riley a fight scene in “Primeval.”

And then there’s the Big Bad himself: Adam. I’ve discussed before why Adam is one of the worst villains in the series: he’s a purely physical threat who does not present any opportunity for Buffy to grow as a human being. Buffy versus Frankenstein’s Monster could have been an interesting concept, what with the psychological complexity of the Monster in Mary Shelley’s original novel. However, Adam is about as psychologically complex as a pseudo-intellectual college freshman – an effect that should be appropriate in a season about Buffy’s going to college but one that ends up as laughable rather than threatening. Adam's humor is about as funny as the one-liners of a petulant middle schooler. His combat sequences are oddly unremarkable by Buffy standards, despite his modus operandi being his physical strength. The monster's design is ugly and cluttered rather than being memorable or imposing. Plus, he’s an unlikable character whose introduction into the series involves him killing a child. There’s no joy or fun to be had in Adam’s breed of menace: he’s merely an obstacle to be overcome. Throw in the fact that he’s defeated by one of the most embarrassing power-up sequences in all of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and one’s got a Big Bad that strikes out on all levels.

Given the sheer number of bad qualities these villains possess, why are they on this list at all, let alone above beloved one-off villains from the same season, like Veruca and Sunday? Ultimately, the Initiative and Adam's in-universe accomplishments are just too significant for them to not place on the list whatsoever. The Initiative is responsible for putting the chip into Spike, starting off one of the most important parts of the renegade vampire's character arc and expanding the philosophy of the series into a much more nuanced exploration of good and evil. The Initiative also introduced Riley into the series as a major character, for better or worse. Adam is a major catalyst for Willow’s increased dependence on magic, leading to some of the better parts of Seasons 5 and 6. However, in spite of these accomplishments, these villains aren’t exactly enjoyable to watch whilst achieving them. The Season 4 Big Bads represent the very worst writing and directing in the entire Buffyverse, reeking of thematic confusion, poor pacing, and subpar acting. The only reason they make the list at all is their Big Bad status. If not for that, I’d be happy to boot them off the list and put a comic relief villain like Principal Snyder onto it instead!