Movie Review #19 - Cujo : October Terrors

Cujo (1983)
Director: Lewis Teague
Writer(s): Stephen King, Don Carlos Dunaway, Lauren Currier
Starring: Dee Wallace, Danny Pintauro, Daniel Hugh-Kelly

First "Carrie," then "The Shining." Now, author Stephen King unleashes the most terrifying fear of all... Cujo: false advertising at its finest.

Let me make one thing clear: Stephen King is not a good author. He's pretty much the James Cameron of the literary world, creating semi-interesting ideas while executing them with more care to the human attention span as opposed to artistic merit. His writing is shallow at best and downright awful at worst. At the same time, I do respect King's abilities as a storyteller. There are plenty of creative ideas at work in his books - a high school student whose puberty incorporates elements of the supernatural, a hotel that fuses an atmosphere of paranoia with ghosts, a deranged fan who traps her favorite author in a bed - all good stories. I thus have a rationale for not respecting his "novels" but respecting his movies. These are the kinds of stories that make for good drama; if given to a capable director and cinematographer, say Stanley Kubrick, these stories can produce really good movies. Thus, I must ask, of all the Stephen King books out there, why on earth would someone choose to make a movie out of Cujo?

I can't be the only one out there who thinks this was a bone-headed move on the studio's part. How did we go from Carrie and The Shining, two of Stephen King's most interesting ideas, to a story about a rabid dog attacking people? I guess it's an homage to the classic "creature-features" of the 1950s and 1970s like Them! and Jaws. But those movies had revolutionary budgets and effects for their time. Not to mention that both of those films had competent direction and a greater rationale behind their stories, the former admonishing nuclear proliferation, the latter criticizing city corruption and lackadaisical attitudes. Cujo is just about a killer dog. That's it.

Being wholly honest about the plot, a whole lot more happens. We just don't care about it. The Trenton family lives a semi-normal life, but their car is in need of repairs. They head to the home of the Camber family to get the job done, where they meet the family's friendly St. Bernard, Cujo. Cujo, however, contracts rabies from a bat and goes on a rampage, killing the Camber family patriarch and his a** of a neighbor. Meanwhile, Vic Trenton (Daniel Hugh-Kelly) learns that his wife, Donna, (Dee Wallace) has been cheating on him, so he gets angry. While Vic blows off some steam at a business meeting, Donna takes her son, Tad (Danny Pintauro), and goes to finalize the repair deal. Unfortunately, Cujo attacks her right when the car has reached the last of its lifespan. Thus, she and her son are trapped in the car on a hot summer day with a giant killer dog outside.

The acting of this movie is mediocre at best and migraine-inducing at worst. The characters have no personality at all. Donna's not a particularly strong woman; her motivations aren't interesting or anything new. Vic doesn't strike the audience as a perfect husband, but, at the same time, he doesn't really do anything so immoral as to induce Donna to cheat. Then again, I could see why a woman might leave this guy in the dirt: he has the romantic charisma of a dead rat. The other adulterer, a guy named Steve, has nothing interesting to him at all. He's just kind of lecherous. The Cambers are mere caricatures of rural life. There's the suggestion that the Camber dad is a wife beater and a neglectful parent, but it's not developed at all. It's very sad when the only interesting character of the rural community is the red shirt neighbor. He strikes me as a racist, arrogant *** who deserves what he gets. His death is by far the most satisfying in the movie; if only for that reason, he ends up being the best (human) character.

The distinction of "worst character in the movie" goes to Tad, the most annoying child character I have seen in a movie in a long time. We're supposed to sympathize with children in danger, but I seriously wanted this kid to die, for the simple fact that he never shuts up. His acting is absolutely horrendous, what with his "pwecious" speech pattern and his incessant questions. Worst of all: the screaming. The middle of this movie's climax can be replaced with a ten-minute tape of Danny Pintauro screaming his little lungs out. If I had to make a choice between listening to his screams or the collected works of Creed, I'd take the post-grunge in a heartbeat. At least I can make fun of that. I didn't care for this kid at all. Let him die from heatstroke: at least my eardrums will be free from his ungodly screaming.

The best character in the movie isn't even human: Cujo himself. The great irony of Cujo is just how badly the audience feels for the dog. Before he gets bitten by the bat, Cujo seems like a really friendly dog. Sure, he chases bunny rabbits, but don't all dogs of that size? He's not to blame for all the violent things that he does; he's just a sick animal. What makes the audience feel even worse is the make-up on this dog. Throughout the film's climax, Cujo is caked in dried blood and little bits of gore. It's imagery like this that generates the viewer's sympathy. Disease has completely warped the mind and body of an innocent animal, and it's genuinely sad seeing him rampage himself to death. I'm no fan of dogs, and I still felt more for the pooch than for the human characters. I have to wonder what a dog lover thinks about this movie.

The pacing sucks. Cujo is 93 minutes long, but it feels like 193. The opening domestic drama is so dull and drawn out that the audience grows bored very quickly. The only urgency comes from Cujo's development from an innocent dog into a rabid, foaming monster of death. Otherwise, the rest of the film is just Donna being adulterous, Tad whining, Vic being boring, Tad whining, the Cambers acting like characterless hicks, Tad whining, the car stalling, and Tad whining. When Cujo finally traps Donna and Tad in the car, the film actually starts to become interesting. But it only stays that way for about five minutes, for Donna manages to lock the door and keep Cujo outside. The rest of the time, Donna and Tad slowly get sunstroke and nearly die of heat exhaustion. This is supposed to create an intense atmosphere, but it only gets halfway there. Sure, there's an uncomfortable sense of claustrophobia, but the characters are so hateable that we want them to die. Adding to all of this is the rather lackluster cinematography, editing, and sound quality. Then again, the problems with the last of these probably more has to do with Tad than anything else.

So, is there anything to redeem Cujo? Well, Cujo has one of the single best scares in any horror movie... ever. There's a scene wherein Donna is trying to keep Tad emotionally stable after Cujo's first attack. The camera creeps through the open door, as if we are getting Cujo's perspective as he readies himself to pounce upon the two. Then, at the perfect time, Cujo appears from the other side of the screen, attacking Donna and Tad through a window. I knew this trick was coming, but it still managed to make my heart skip a beat. The timing is just fantastic. If the rest of the film's scares were like that, then I'd give this movie some approval.

As it stands... Cujo doesn't fare very well on my scale. It's far from the worst movie I've seen this year, but it's really grating. It just feels unsatisfying. I give it a few points for Cujo being a genuinely fun movie monster and for the few scares that do work. But with so many other horror films in the world, I'm not sure this is the best use of someone's time. At the end of the day, Cujo is one of those Stephen King movies that is roughly of the same quality as one of his books.

Recommendation: If you're a die hard horror fan or a Stephen King completionist, I don't think I'm going to stop you from watching Cujo. For everyone else, I recommend trying to find the last 20 minutes or so on Youtube, Hulu, or somewhere else. That way, one can appreciate the scares without slogging through the beginning.

I give Cujo 3.3 out of 10 stars.