Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Top 100 Best Songs of the 1990s: Part 9 (20-11)

Mmmmlist, I will get through this, type it out now, mmmmlist, I shall get through: yeah, yeah!

20. "Juicy" - The Notorious B.I.G.

The Notorious B.I.G. holds a place in the rap canon chiefly for two reasons: his murder in 1997, making him the great martyr of the East Coast in the East-West hip-hop wars, and his status as the undisputed master of flow. All great raps are composed chiefly from three elements: lyrics (self-explanatory), cadence (the inflection and volume of the vocals), and flow (the rhythmic dexterity of the rapper's voice). Plenty of em cees have laid claims to being masters of all of these elements, but no one challenges Biggie Smalls as the greatest master of flow in rap history. It didn't matter what rhythm one presented him with - chops, hemiolas, triplets, anapests - Biggie not only mastered all styles, but practically invented half the techniques used today (the other half were developed by Rakim in 1987). Combine Biggie's innovative approach to rapping with his confidence and spectacular lyricism, and one bears witness to one of the best em cees to ever live. His magnum opus, "Juicy," is the story of his rise to the very pinnacle of the genre.

The key to "Juicy" is its emphasis on having nothing as opposed to having everything; though the song does make many allusions to material possessions and disposable women, like the vast majority of popular hip-hop songs today, it presents these status symbols as opposed to a life of urban decay and constant want. When Biggie raps, "we used to fuss when the landlords dissed us/no heat, wonder why Christmas missed us," one hears his frustrations about some of the most miserable times in his life; Christmas, typically the most joyful time of the year, becomes a day of despair. Best of all, the song doesn't backpedal on its focus at any point, taking time to reference Biggie's harsh youth in each verse; in this way, "Juicy" develops a flexible chronology, developing a psychology for the narrator that understands its place within time. Such memory adds life to Biggie's poetry unlike most any other developmental narrative in rap music.

The music of "Juicy" is pretty much a verbatim sample of Mtume's 1983 hit, "Juicy Fruit." However, once one listens to the Notorious B.I.G.'s version, it is pretty much impossible to listen to the original without feeling somewhat gypped. The production flourishes that provide little to illuminate the "themes" of the original only serve to enhance "Juicy"'s message. The bouncing bass suggests the decadence and happiness of the present, while the wistful synthesizer glissandos cue the flashbacks. Plus, the alterations to the chorus of "Juicy Fruit" are greatly appreciated. While the original was about little more than sex, "Juicy" flips the chorus to discuss the importance of both clarifying and pursuing one's goals. While the singing might not be as good, pretty much everything else about "Juicy"'s music is superior to the original.

Additionally, "Juicy" is reflective of the story of hip-hop itself as a musical genre. Being released in 1994, "Juicy" emerged at a moment when hip-hop had finally established itself as a standard music genre with its own Billboard chart, its own critical standards, and its own place in the popular consciousness. One of the most telling lyrics is "remember Rappin' Duke? duh-ah duh-ah/You never thought that hip-hop would take it this far." The Rappin' Duke was a 1984 novelty spoken-word song featuring a rapping John Wayne sound-alike, as if mocking the then fledgling hip-hop genre for being a mere fad. Yet the 80s and early 90s did what they could to transform rap into a legitimate artistic genre, with its own musical intricacies and language. By 1994, rap had reached what some still consider its artistic peak. "Juicy" functions as a moment of apotheosis, realizing how far hip-hop has come and how far it can still go should listeners continue to purchase the records. Seeing how masterfully "Juicy" was executed, it certainly convinced many a hip-hop doubter.

"Juicy" is quite possibly the finest story-telling rap of the 1990s, combining nostalgia, somberness, confidence, and pure cool to produce a true masterpiece of a song. All of the Notorious B.I.G.'s rhythmic and lyrical tricks are put on full display for the listener to enjoy. It thus serves as an excellent introduction to Biggie's discography as well as a classic for current fans to reflect upon. It's one of my absolute favorite rap records, and it's one of the most acclaimed rap songs in history. Its place in the top 20 is well-earned indeed.

19. "Midnight in a Perfect World" - DJ Shadow

DJ Shadow's masterful ...Endtroducing is one of the finest albums of the 1990s, being the pioneering work of instrumental hip-hop and ambient trip-hop in the critical and popular consciousness. Unlike most any other release in either hip-hop or trip-hop, it has not aged a day, with its innovative record cuts and sample mixes still sounding fresh. ...Endtroducing was one of the first albums ever composed of samples only, but it remixes said samples in a way as to wholly re-texture them, producing entirely new compositions. The album's emotional core is the haunting "Midnight in a Perfect World," a trip-hop inspired piece that harmonizes a wide variety of musical styles to produce an ideal midnight, one of cultural unity that our current age suggests cannot exist.

The key to "Midnight in a Perfect World"'s success is the broad range of samples. The main melodic line and musical core of the song comes from the opening of a song called "Sekoilu Seestyy" by Pekka Pohjola, best known as the bass player from the 70s Finnish prog rock band, Wigwam. It's a very bright riff, melodically, but its lower harmonics churn with uncertainty. After all, the title of the original piece translates to "The Madness Subsides," suggesting hope after a period of moral and mental instability. The main bass part, however, comes from a piece called "Dolmen Music" by American contemporary classical composer Meredith Monk; while I wouldn't especially recommend that piece, the application of the cello riff adds a darker tone while also alluding to the influences of Neolitihic music (a dolmen being the primary form of grave during the Neolithic age). The drums are compiled from underrated soul songs from the 1960s, "California Soul" by Marlena Shaw and "Life Could" by the Rotary Connection. The haunting piano melodies come from the American composer David Axelrod's most famous song, "The Human Abstract."  Finally, and most importantly for this list (as it provided words permitting the song to qualify), the vocals are taken from the song "Sower of Seeds" by a barely known LA rock band called Baraka. The original melody leads into a fairly standard 70s groove rock song, but, in DJ Shadow's hand, it's made into a particularly moving vocal line. All of these samples meld together to create an ambience that is at once mysterious and inviting, providing a sense of calm while also affording no clear on answers on what world it truly represents.

The best way to visualize the effect of "Midnight in a Perfect World" is to liken the song to the view out of the window of a car driving through a city at night. Each brief piano line is a passing streetlight or lamp-lit window, while the churning bass is the steady rotation of the wheels. The vocals take on a new form: individual human thoughts popping into and out of a world defined by human artifice as opposed to raw nature. The unnatural cuts of the drums in the final chorus seem to suggest the dominance of technology, urbanization, and globalization over individuality, yet this paradigm shift is not to be seen as a failure of human freedom. Rather, "Midnight in a Perfect World" anticipates a more ideal human existence within a world of disaggregated identity; with us valuing each other less on the individual level, we are more capable of tolerance and acceptance of humanity's merits and flaws. As the song culminates in its midnight, it raises the question of whether such a world can exist and what the consequences of such a world would be.

"Midnight in a Perfect World" itself is a culmination of sampling craft, trip-hop sensibilities, and atmospheric sculpting. Few other sonic experiments of the 90s truly pushed the boundaries to this extent while maintaining listenability and avoiding pretension. "Midnight in a Perfect World" hits a perfect medium, making it approachable to just about anyone fortunate enough to listen to it. Though known mostly by music nerds, this song is slowly gaining a larger audience, one I can only hope to expand through giving it such a high place on my list.

18. "Sour Times" - Portishead

Massive Attack might have invented trip-hop, Tricky might have been the trip-hop artist with the most edge, and DJ Shadow might have created the most inventive trip-hop album, but, in my eyes, no trip-hop group was better than Portishead. No other group managed to combine melody, atmosphere, rhythmic dexterity, and raw emotion on the same level as Portishead, especially as they did on their debut, Dummy. The centerpiece of that masterpiece is "Sour Times," the Bond theme that never was. A song at once depressing and lustful, "Sour Times" was Portishead's breakout single, the landmark that allowed for all their subsequent hits to chart. Yet none of them hit quite as hard as the first.

The music video for "Sour Times" comes from Portishead's own short film, To Kill a Dead Man. It's a fairly standard spy thriller, yet "Sour Times" completely fits the mood, emphasizing the V chord just like the James Bond theme. Each instrument adds an aura of mystery, from the single mandolin note that pierces through the song every two measures to the string section during the chorus to the sparse synthesizer saws at the song's end. Most important is Adrian Utley, the group's bassist, who lays down one of the most sinuous bass lines of the decade; the descending intervals communicate desire, elusiveness, and intrigue.

And, of course, one cannot discuss Portishead without discussing the lovely voice of Beth Gibbons. Gibbons's sultry alto distinguished Portishead from their peers, with her silky tones charming every listener fortunate enough to pop Dummy into the CD player. Her voice practically melts over the melody, aching its way into the chorus. When she declares "nobody loves me, it's true," the listener's heart burns with empathy, and, for some listeners, desire. Much like Bridgette Bardot and Jane Birkin before her, Beth Gibbons realizes that the perfect way to lead the listener on is to taper off the voice right before the end of the phrase; the collapse in the sound pulls the listener forward in his or her seat, as he or she wants to hear the melody brought to its conclusion. In short, the musical refusal baits the listener. Some might say the dropping of a phrase's final notes is indicative of musical amateurism and hackery, but Gibbons's performance on "Sour Times" does not indicate vocal strain or limitation; in her stellar performance of the song at Roseland, NYC, she turns the final chorus into a practical storm of belting and longing. She most definitely can maintain the notes; her artistic choice is wholly intentional.

The central theme of "Sour Times"'s lyrics is a tension between sorrow and desire. The verses of "Sour Times" can be somewhat impenetrable, but this intentionally so; Portishead often tries to obscure the events and moods of the present in order to emphasize the urges of the past. Said lyrical obstructions are not without poetic tact, as Portishead emphasize both alliteration and consonance in the first two verses of the song: "forbidden fruit," "blind belief," "sinful screens." However, all of these elements are trivial compared to the song's main conceit: its chorus. "Nobody loves me it's true/Nobody loves me it's true/Not like you do" The first two phrases are drawn out so to create a mood of unabated sorrow. However, when the last phrase pops up, the entire tone of the chorus changes, focusing on the II7 chord, so as to create a brighter sound within a minor key song. The sorrow suggested by the first line turns into a coy sexual come-on, pulling the listener ever further into the song's world. It's a simple trick, but it works oh so well.

With "Sour Times," Portishead struck a home run for trip-hop. Not only did it revolutionize trip-hop, not only did it provide an emotional climax for Dummy, not only did it become a significant hit in the United Kingdom, but it also converted a certain blogger into a lifelong trip-hop fan. This is the song that made me want to listen to more trip-hop, and I am forever in its debt. "Sour Times" is everything trip-hop can and should be, and it's one of my personal favorites on the entire list.

17. "California Love" - 2pac feat. Dr. Dre

2pac's return to this list features him at his musical peak, headlining the greatest West Coast rap song of the 1990s. As powerful as "Dear Mama," "Brenda's Got a Baby," and the previously mentioned "I Ain't Mad at Cha" are, Tupac was undoubtedly at his lyrical best when he was bragging and having a good time. This is why "Hit 'Em Up" and "Keep Ya Head Up" are often considered his finest rap performances; Tupac's confidence translated into more innovative and creative lyrics and flows. Nowhere did he shine brighter than on "California Love," one of the most infectious hip-hop songs to ever top the pop charts. Yes, you did read that correctly: "California Love" was one of relatively few rap songs to actually become a number one hit. It did not attain this accolade without warrant.

The beat of "California Love" is based on two samples: Joe Cocker's 1972 hit, "Woman to Woman," and the 1982 Ronnie Hudson hit, "West Coast Poplock." However, in each case, the sample is dramatically improved. Dr. Dre shifts the piano riff from "Woman to Woman" down a half-step, making the sforzando introduction to the riff that much more powerful and mysterious. Better yet is the vocal hook. Along with changing the words, Dre hired the legendary funk vocalist and god of talk box, Roger Troutman, to provide the vocals for "California Love." The talk box brings "California Love" into conversation with dozens of classic synth-funk tracks, Zapp's "More Bounce to the Ounce" in particular. The West Coast is laying claim to rap's dancehall roots, and the entire song bangs. The East Coast might have had more lyricism, but the West Coast certainly had more fun.

Yet "California Love" does have one lackluster element: Dr. Dre's verse. The entire verse seems somewhat phoned in, with Dr. Dre giving some of the dullest cadences of his career. One of the lines even contains one of Dr. Dre's greatest lyrical blunders, referring to California as the "Sunshine State" when that nickname clearly belongs to Florida. Though Dr. Dre appropriately discusses his dominance in the studio, he fits his entire reputation into two measly lines; a producer of his stature has the right to brag more. Yet this lack of effort is somewhat understandable: Dr. Dre never originally planned to release the beat to "California Love," as he never particularly liked it. It was only at Tupac's urging that he ultimately released it. Thus, though Dr. Dre was responsible for crafting much of the song, Tupac is the real mastermind here.

It's thus fitting that Tupac's verse is the best part of the song. While Dr. Dre's infamous lyrical slip-up indicates a lack of care for his state, Tupac clearly gives everything to his home. "Let me serenade the streets of L.A./From Oakland to Sac-town/the Bay Area and back down" - his verse reads like a catalogue of the places that have inspired his career. The ode is especially timely given that this was the first single Tupac released after getting out of jail. The king of the West Coast wastes no time to set up perhaps the finest cadential rap verse of the decade. One can hear Tupac's love for his state in every tinge of his voice. Combine this with a flow that emphasizes internal and off-beat rhymes, and one has a practical masterpiece of a verse. When Tupac demands that we "give him love" at the end of the song, he more than earns it.

"California Love" might represent the most materialistic elements of West Coast raps, but it does so with a tact far greater and a beat far better than other classics of the era, such as Dr. Dre's "Nuthin But a G Thang" and Snoop Dogg's "Gin and Juice." The beat pulses with energy, rocking the piano riff for all its worth. Tupac's verse is one of his very best, even if it's not his most lyrical. Add in the fact that this was the rap song that resonated most with listeners of the time, being perhaps the song most associated with Tupac, and one's got one of the most important hip-hop songs of the 90s.

16. "Would?" - Alice in Chains

Most casual fans of grunge music and Alice in Chains will call them a great group because they sounded "beautiful" or "haunting" as compared to their peers. No other grunge group of the big four prominently used harmonies in their songs, so Alice in Chains stood out. Yet Alice in Chains' harmonies differed from those that had come before; they did not sound like those of the Everly Brothers or the Beatles for a very clear reason: they broke the rules. The first rule of classical counterpoint composition is to not stack harmonies in parallel fifths; one should strive to change the harmonic interval, as keeping the harmony on the fifth leads to an open and unresolved sound. Yet this unresolved sound is exactly what Alice in Chains sought to achieve, and nowhere did their lack of musical resolution work better than on the cryptic final track to their Dirt album, "Would?"

"Would?" begins with a slinking bass riff, monstrous and foreboding, from Mike Starr. Oddly enough, though, this bass riff is arguably the most melodic portion of the entire song, dominating the verses; it is as if the core of the band's existence comes from below. Jerry Cantrell's guitar lines are sparse and frail, quickly ebbing out into an echo. Layne Staley and Cantrell's voices glide over the parallel fifths, as if barely skimming the air. A sense of impermanence and spiritual weakness permeates the verses, only to burst forth into a roar of desperation and rage in the chorus. Staley's cracking vocals on the peak phrase might suggest lack of technique to some, but I see them as a sign of raw frustration. Yet why is this song so disturbed? The answer: heroin.

Cocaine was the rock star drug of choice of the 1980s; its high-octane, stimulative effects can be heard all over the era's most popular songs. The 1990s, however, were the era of heroin - more addictive, more violent, and more intense. The members of Alice in Chains witnessed the effects of heroin first-hand after Andrew Wood, the lead singer of the proto-grunge group, Mother Love Bone, overdosed in 1990. Jerry Cantrell, Alice in Chains' chief songwriter, was a close friend of Wood; he even dedicated Alice in Chains' first album, Facelift, to the deceased singer. Yet "Would?" was Cantrell's first true attempt to grapple with the nature of Andrew Wood's addiction and the role of friends in trying to curb it; indeed, "Would?" is a homophone of "Wood." The narrative of "Would?" depicts a man who recognizes his addiction and his inability to face it alone: "know me broken by my master/Teach me, a child, love hereafter." Each chorus is a new relapse into drug usage, coupled with vindictiveness at those who would dare judge the narrator for his actions.

The best part of "Would?" is the coda. "Would?"'s first chorus modulates to the key of the supertonic through the use of the iv chord. However, the coda then leaps from the key of the supertonic to the key of the subtonic, using the dominant chord of the supertonic key before scaling down with a VII-III#-III-i progression. This is a highly disjointed musical phrase, but it has a clear function when one considers the lyrics. "Am I wrong? Have I run too far to get home?/Have I gone? Left you here alone?" At this point, the narrative style becomes unclear. Has the addict realized the extent of his addiction and turned for help, recognizing the dangers of abandoning those he loves? Or, even worse, has the narration shifted to the friends of the addict? Is this a moment in which they realize their responsibility for their friend's behavior extends beyond even their friend's desires? The song ends on the most cryptic question of the grunge era: "if I would, could you?" Its meaning is uncertain to this day.

Yet, in the case of Alice in Chains, it appears that question has been applied in the most tragic of ways. In 2002, Layne Staley died of a heroin overdose. The circumstances: the fallout of an argument with Mike Starr. In 2011, Starr too died of a heroin overdose. Frighteningly enough, in the case of Alice in Chains, the question seems to be this: "if I would die of a heroin overdose, could you follow me?"

15.  "Sabotage" - Beastie Boys

The Beastie Boys were one of the most important hip-hop groups of the 1980s: a group of rowdy New Yorkers who didn't care how snotty they were and, more importantly, what listeners thought of them. Their debut album, Licensed to Ill, was the album that solidified the budding fusion of rap and hard rock that was rap-rock. That album had an aggressive and entertaining sound that instantly charmed listeners who loved their "Fight for Your Right to Party" attitude. Their next album, Paul's Boutique, was a critical darling, full of innovative sampling and more complex flows. However, its radical approach didn't win over nearly as many listeners; as compared to its platinum-certified predecessor, it was lucky to be certified gold. Check Your Head saw a return to their hard rock sound, but it still took room to experiment on the production end with songs like "So What'cha Want"; while the more conventional sound did draw in some more listeners, the album barely cracked the top ten. It was only with 1994's Ill Communication that the Beastie Boys once again topped the album charts. In my opinion, it's the group's best album: combining jazz, hard rock, and hip-hop in a more complete fashion than on any of the Beasties' other albums. The album's lead single, "Sabotage," is everything right about it, and it's perhaps the greatest rap-rock single of the decade.

"Sabotage" begins with quite possibly the greatest guitar riff of the 1990s. The hammered-on seventh hearkens to the heavy metal riffs upon which the Beastie Boys built their initial hard rock legacy, but the layers of feedback and mechanical chugging suggest a harder hip-hop edge. It's meant to be a guitar riff for a new era. Best of all, it's not a sample; the Beastie Boys composed all of the music for "Sabotage" themselves. This riff provides the pulse for the entire song, adding a tongue-in-cheek savagery to the track that makes all the other elements pop, from the blaring cut of the saw synthesizers to the dominant whine of the guitar feedback to the slinking bass line to the punchy snare cracks. It generates an attitude upon which the rest of the song is built.

While the lyrics of Beastie Boys' songs are never the main attraction, they are usually not wanting for lack of wit. "Sabotage" is mostly about the Beastie Boys' discontent with the post-Nixon political machine; the influence of money and executive privilege has, in essence, "sabotaged" any political future for up and comers. However, unlike other hip-hop artists, such as Nas or GZA, the Beastie Boys do not disguise their discontent with flowery language, taking the route of punk stars like Iggy Pop and Johnny Rotten with direct lyrics: "So while you sit back and wonder why/I got this f****** thorn in my side/oh my God, it's a mirage/I'm tellin' ya'll it's sabotage." My personal favorite line in the song is "I'm Buddy Rich when I fly off the handle," a reference to the highly volatile temperament of the greatest drummer to ever live. It's the little bits of wit that make "Sabotage" more than petulant whining from a bunch of intellectually lazy New Yorkers.

The absolute best portion of the song is the brief ritornello after the second verse. All the instruments drop out, letting the feedback provide a slight release and echo. Then, the guitar chugs in right before the most emphatic declaration of "why" in rap history. The song then builds into a massive crescendo in the bridge, with the chant of "listen all y'all, it's a sabotage" becoming practically anthemic. The song enters its final verse at full force, having earned its fortissimo dynamic. Most rap-rock songs, even the very best tunes like Run-DMC's "Walk This Way" or Faith No More's "Epic," don't have a proper sense of dynamics. In this sense, "Sabotage" set a new standard for the genre.

"Sabotage" became a massive MTV hit, carried on the strength of its amazingly ridiculous music video: a parody of popular 70s cop shows, such as Hill Street Blues. However, as fun as the music video is, it's the song itself that has stood the test of time. While few Millennials and Generation Y-ers would readily be able to identify the references contained in the video, most can recite "Sabotage" lyric for lyric and identify every facet of the arrangement and production. It's a hip-hop song that everyone loves: rock fans, hip-hop fans, punk fans, even pop music fans. Sometimes, one merely needs to cut loose and express some rage; with "Sabotage," the Beastie Boys gave the 90s the finest and healthiest release it could want.

14. "Bitter Sweet Symphony" - The Verve

So, let's address the elephant in the room and discuss the plagiarism issue first. Is "Bitter Sweet Symphony" a shameless and illegal rip from the Rolling Stones? Yes and no. It is true that the Verve were found guilty of plagiarizing the main melodic line from the Andrew Oldham Orchestra's adaptation of the Rolling Stones' "The Last Time" and that the main violin line that grounds "Bitter Sweet Symphony" sounds eerily similar to the second verse of said adaptation; even the percussion sounds similar. However, I'd say the Verve improved the melody to such an extent that "Bitter Sweet Symphony" becomes its own beast worthy of criticism and appreciation on its own terms. Its aesthetic and meaning is wholly different from that of "The Last Time," and the synthesizer and guitar echoes drastically change the nature of the chords the original recording supplied. Not to mention that the transference of the original melody onto a single violin drastically changes how the listener interprets the theme: as a singular voice of defiance against a world gradually becoming a quagmire through its descending bass. 

Outside of the legal disputes that have mired the song's history, "Bitter Sweet Symphony" is perhaps the definitive Britpop song. Indeed, it is the highest ranking Britpop on my list, even though I would not place the Verve in the same league as groups like Pulp, Blur, and Suede. It earns its ranking because of one simple factor: its sheer size. No Britpop song, not "Common People," not "The Universal," not even "A Design for Life" sounds quite as massive as "Bitter Sweet Symphony." One might be overwhelmed by the crescendos of a tune such as "A Design for Life," but one can eventually locate the disparate elements and break the song down into its component parts. Not so for "Bitter Sweet Symphony": much like "Born to Run" or "A Day in the Life," it is a collection of parts so numerous and discrete as to form a collage of musical force. When one then pairs this sound with the song's lyrical aspirations, one produces perhaps the most ambitious Britpop song ever recorded.

"Bitter Sweet Symphony" is the quintessential Britpop response to the problem of modernity: how does one find meaning in a meaningless world? The main lyric of the song - "'Cause it's a bitter sweet symphony, that's life" - is the ultimate 90s assertion of life's meaninglessness. As people become "slaves to the money and die," they lose any sense of identity and personal value. The implication: meaning never existed to begin with. The Verve initially try to resolve this issue through finding Proustian salvation through art, namely by listening to the radio ("I let the melody shine/let it cleanse my mind/I feel free now"), yet such an escape proves illusory. Their ultimate conclusion: companionship provides the only consolation in such a bleak existence ("I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down"). While it's far from a perfect solution, it at least provides some comfort within a bleak existence.

From its gargantuan sound to its fantastic percussion section to Richard Ashcroft's spirited vocal line, "Bittersweet Symphony" contains just about everything needed for a 90s classic. It's undeniably the most recognizable and accessible Britpop song, but that recognition doesn't lead to over saturation. It's a song whose acclaim is warranted in spite of its legal trials. It's the highest ranking Britpop song on this list for one key reason: it's a 90s song praised outside of that decade that has earned its reputation. 

13. "All Apologies" - Nirvana

If one has read all the way through this list, one might have noticed a strain of comments and criticisms that suggest I do not like Nirvana very much. Such inferences are accurate: of the four main grunge groups, I find Nirvana the most overpraised, corrosive, and overrated, as well as the least talented. Were it not for Kurt Cobain's death in 1994, I seriously doubt Nirvana would be considered one of the greatest rock bands of the decade. Let's face it: Mudhoney, Mother Love Bone, and  Soundgarden created the grunge aesthetic long before Nirvana's Nevermind broke. Plus, Kurt Cobain himself admitted that the loud-soft dynamic of their songs was taken from the Pixies. There's nothing intrinsically innovative to Nirvana's music. Not to mention, I cannot stand Nirvana's 1993 album, In Utero: a collection of abrasive, discordant tunes loaded with half-hearted references to C-list authors. There's hardly a tune on the album I like, with even the singles only approaching the average level at best ("Heart-Shaped Box") and loathsome levels at worst ("Rape Me").

With one key exception.

"All Apologies," In Utero's final track, is a song difficult to interpret as anything other than the creator's suicide note. Much like Johnny Cash's "Hurt," Tupac Shakur's "Hail Mary," or Layne Staley's "Nutshell," "All Apologies" functions as an effective epitaph for Kurt Cobain and his short but powerful impact on the perception of rock music. Sure, Cobain might not have been the innovator of the grunge movement, but he was the figure who developed the grunge scene's mystique and defining philosophy: emotional authenticity and artistic autonomy above all else, even life, limb, and love. The song ends Nirvana's studio album output on the bleakest note possible, practically presaging the events of the following year, its electric breakdown and haunting channels of feedback offering a sense of decay unlike any other grunge song before or since.

The instrumentation of "All Apologies" is the most appropriately arranged on the In Utero album. While tracks like "Tourette's" and "Serve the Servants" focused too heavily on distortion and pretentious dissonance, "All Apologies" holds its electric guitar tones at bay, only letting them sink in when the emotions of the song demand it. But, when they finally do kick in, the effect is wholly disheartening: the distorted sludge quickly consumes the listener, drowning him or her in the depressing aesthetic of the music. Dave Grohl's simple but effective drum lines serve as the perfect kicking points for Nirvana's most titanic chorus. Most important of all is the cello line, played by Kera Schaley; its acoustic churn perfectly complements the howl of Kurt Cobain's guitar, giving the song a more robust timbre.

Lyrically, "All Apologies" pares down the barrage of apophenia and tepid allusions that bog down the rest of In Utero to the album's blunt message: f*** you. In Utero frames itself as a rejection of the critical and popular appraisal of Nirvana's previous effort, Nevermind; Cobain designed the album with an utter lack of melody and traditional song structure so as to intentionally alienate his audience.  From the first line on, the intention is clear: "what else should I be?/All apologies." Never once is the word "apology" used sincerely. Come the chorus, Cobain establishes his emotions more firmly: "in the sun, in the sun/I feel as one/in the sun, in the sun/Married, buried." As I interpret the song, the sun is Cobain's depiction of fame itself. While he is able to subsume himself into a persona and lifestyle consistent with his level of fame, said fame is both binding and claustrophobic, choking out any sense of life or creativity. The stresses of reputation cause Cobain to lose faith in practically everything, with even the "aqua seafoam" of the love goddess, Aphrodite, becoming "shame"-ful.

While Cobain's croaking vocal style grates on me 90% of the time, I can't help but find every second of his performance here genuine. "All Apologies" is the most direct and sincere he ever sounded, and it's the one point in the group's entire history that the past twenty-three years of music have wholly validated. It's got their best guitar riff, their best chorus, and most definitely, their best outro. Sadly, the agony the song expresses proved too much for Kurt Cobain himself. Just as "Smells Like Teen Spirit" brought grunge and alternative rock into the mainstream, Kurt Cobain's suicide sent popular perception of rock music into a tailspin. For a moment, rock came to a halt, as an icon had disappeared. To this day, thousands of teens consider Nirvana a touchstone of rock music sincerity and authenticity. Though I disagree with the extent of Nirvana's legacy on a musical level, their cultural impact cannot be understated. "All Apologies" is thus the epitaph of an era in which grunge was the undisputed king of popular rock: an appropriate ending to one of the most important movements of the decade.

12. "Loser" - Beck

If one needed to point to a single song to sum up the entire musical culture of the 1990s, "Loser" would probably be a good choice. Alternative rock guitar riff, rapping, trip-hop beats, art pop sitar influences, slacker aesthetic, and almost meaningless lyrics: Beck includes pretty much every major trope of 90s music into one song. While "Loser" is probably not Beck's best song - that's probably "Devil's Haircut" - it is his most identifiable and iconic. Furthermore, its summing up the attitude of its era warrants its inclusion on a list of this nature, which seeks to create an overall picture of the 1990s at its best. Not to mention, even though it is Beck's most overplayed song, its quality still shines through. Just ask: do you know anyone who hates this song?

Pretty much all of "Loser" can be summed up in the opening guitar lick, perhaps the most iconic moment of slide guitar in the 90s musical canon. The octave leap reminds the listener of bass lines from both the Madchester dance scene of groups like the Happy Mondays to the bass lines of James Jamerson on early Motown recordings. Yet no sooner does the riff build up to its melodic peak than does it immediately descend into a pull-off, as if the song is simply giving up. Indeed, when Beck plays this riff live, he intentionally slacks off and diverts his attention to alternating guitar styles and the rapped verses. Such a slacker approach befits a song of "Loser"'s style: the song's internal narrator doesn't care, so why should the composer? That being said, Beck does not slack off in terms of layering the song's other musical elements, from his precise drum-machine work to the pulsating backing bass to the otherworldly sitar work during the verses. Through its varying styles and sounds, "Loser" seeks to be both alien and familiar, both tight and loose, both unfocused and precise. The song's ability to reconcile these differing attitudes in its musical language makes it one of the best pop tunes of its era.

Lyrically, "Loser" is essentially meaningless: much like Elton John's "Take Me to the Pilot" or Duran Duran's "Hungry Like the Wolf," the song's individual verses are practically random. However, unlike both of those songs, "Loser" definitely communicates a clear attitude: our narrator is the standard 90s artiste, committed to abstracting meaning from the basest and most basic of observations. What non-pretentious person would draw attention to opinions such as "I'm insane to complain about a shotgun wedding and a stain on my shirt." Such juxtapositions are practically incoherent. Indeed, the verses are practically a Finnegan's Wake of intentional incoherence. The key is the chorus, the satirical punchline for the entire song: "Soy un peredor/I'm a loser, baby, so why don't you kill me?" As I see it, Beck presents "Loser" as a satirical attack upon his 90s alternative contemporaries who didn't actually know what they were doing in musical or artistic terms; while Beck devoted time to practicing his musical craft and accumulating a large database of influences, many other composers within the indie rock scene simply listened to one Sonic Youth record and decided to record discordant, self-loathing gibberish for its own sake. With so many suicide-fetishizing musicians around him, Beck seems to pose the challenge, "Ok, go ahead." Is such self-loathing music the product of a genuine identity crisis, or is it the mere product of a desire to feel special or self-important?

Unfortunately for the mainstream perception of 90s alternative rock, all too many listeners were not in on the joke. Fortunately, the money such surface fans pumped into Beck's bank account allowed Beck to continue making albums that would re-define the sound of 90s alternative rock. Plus, Beck, unlike other 90s alternative rockers who grew successful out of a single that was taken out of context (see Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit" and Radiohead's "Creep"), never truly fell out of love with "Loser." While he tired of the song for a brief period in the late 90s-early 00s, he has returned the song to a prominent place on his setlist; the shallow fans of the song mostly abandoned him by the time the Aughts turned around, leaving him with those who genuinely care about his music and who appreciate "Loser" for its actual merits instead of purely its catchy chorus. So long as he keeps making classic albums, Beck certainly has one in this critic.

11. "Good Morning, Captain" - Slint 

By far the scariest song on the list. One could legitimately soundtrack a horror film with "Good Morning, Captain." That's how chilling it is. Musically, the song is little more than two guitar riffs, but those two riffs  make the listener's skin crawl. Dread pervades the room whenever "Good Morning, Captain" is on, as if someone is watching, waiting, wanting. The two-note alterations bait the listener until distorted power chords scream out in the chorus, giving the listener a new surge of fear. All the while, the drums thud, as if emulating the creaking oars of a ship crashing against jagged rocks.

And that's before one discusses the disturbing lyrics. "Good Morning, Captain's" haunting poetry harkens back to the themes of loneliness and nihilism of Samuel Taylor Coleridge's "Rime of the Ancient Mariner" and expands upon them. A lonely ship captain, washed up after his ship has sunk and his crew has died, finds himself before a solitary door guarded by a young boy. As the captain pleads for help, he recognizes the boy just as they are about to break apart, with the captain wailing in agony, "I miss you." Who is the boy? The captain's son, abandoned in favor of life on the sea? The captain's own innocence, destroyed by the death of his crew? The captain's sense of morality, now meaningless in light of the wanton destruction of human life? The ambiguity of the story only heightens the horror.

"Good Morning, Captain" was the perfect capstone to a short but extremely influential career from Slint. The band managed to re-define most every element of math-rock, post-rock, and hardcore punk  that had come before; nearly every band that succeeded Slint was forced to engage with their musical and thematic innovations. Spiderland came to be Slint's masterpiece and one of the best albums of the 1990s, and "Good Morning, Captain" is its final track. These words, in effect, were the last major statement the band had to make to their audience. Applying the themes of the song to the band itself, were Slint calling out to their own aspirations as their career came to an end? This may not have been their artistic intention, but I don't doubt a band as forward-minded and intelligent as Slint would have failed to anticipate such interpretations. More importantly, while the first few songs of Spiderland focused purely on psychological disturbances, the loud final chorus of "Good Morning, Captain" brings those fears into the physical, placing the listener into the captain's seat as he is tossed across the sea and fades away into the darkness. It's a perfect album ender for a nearly perfect album. It's one of the most ominous songs ever written, and it's a perfect predecessor to the top ten songs of the decade.

Sunday, July 17, 2016

Top 100 Best Songs of the 1990s (Part 8: 30-21)

Tell me what? Ain't nothin' but a countdown. Tell me what? Ain't nothing but a list, now...

30. "The Drowners" - Suede

And Suede make their triumphant return to my countdown. "The Drowners" barely managed to beat out "Mind Playing Tricks On Me" for the first spot in the top thirty. Though I admittedly admire "Mind Playing Tricks On Me"'s poetry more than the fairly standard lyrics of "The Drowners," I personally enjoy "The Drowners" a little more. Furthermore, "The Drowners" has more musical significance: while "Mind Playing Tricks On Me" was a major turning point for southern hip hop, "The Drowners" practically introduced Britpop to the world. While Blur's "Popscene," commonly considered the first ever Britpop song, beat out "The Drowners"' release date by a mere two months, "The Drowners" lifted Britpop into the British and global mainstream in a far more significant way. After all, when the music is this good, one has no other choice but to listen.

As is the case with most early Suede songs, the hero is Bernard Butler. "The Drowners" features the most sexually charged guitar riff of the entire 1990s, using both downbeat strokes and upbeat syncopations to create a sinuous groove. The combination of reverb and power chords provides a constant sense of forward motion. While "Animal Nitrate" (see part 6) seemed to contain multiple miniature climaxes, "The Drowners" keeps pushing to the final chorus. Throughout the song, Butler keeps up the insatiable groove, driving the point home with a guitar solo reminiscent of Angus Young mixed with Crazy Horse-era Neil Young. Yet, in spite of the aggressive guitar tone, Butler never sacrifices melody. The right notes pop out at the right times, making the song that much more effective.

This is not to say the rest of the band isn't operating at their peak: nay, Suede sounds better on "The Drowners" than on practically any other song in their catalogue. Simon Gilbert gives one of his best performances, playing one of the signature drum intros of the 90s. The timpani-bass drum combination perfectly sets up Butler's guitar riff. Brett Anderson once again shows off his hyper-sexual voice. However, the anger and grit of "Animal Nitrate" dissipates, replaced with orgasmic bliss. Anderson is not a technically proficient singer, but his swallowing the words makes the message clear enough when words fail to capture the sexual tension.

The words themselves are solid as well. Some have called "The Drowners" ambiguous in meaning, but the sexual connotations are clear. More importantly, it's about one of few 90s Britpop songs to be about homosexual sex: "We kiss in his room/to a popular tune/oh, real drowners." Gilbert is clearly not kissing in his girlfriend in her brother's room: the lover is male. Many 90s songs have such homosexual subtext, but few are so open about their homosexuality as "The Drowners." Even more interesting, while the sex of "Animal Nitrate" was dirty and often hostile, "The Drowners"' sex is welcoming. It's about enjoying someone else's love so much that one becomes enveloped in love that one actually has to gasp for air. Yet not once does the love seem unbearable or, dare I say, "rape-y." The drowning is mutual. In a way, "The Drowners" did for homosexual sex in the 1990s what Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get It On" did to heterosexual sex in the 1970s: made the act permissible in a musical context.

Though the politics of the 1990s certainly were not as forward-looking as "The Drowners," the music press certainly appreciated the song's excellence. Both NME and Melody Maker called "The Drowners" the best single of 1992. Though I'd disagree with this assessment, I'd be more than happy to call it the second best single of 1992, beaten out only by a higher ranked entry on this list. "The Drowners" is quite possibly my personal favorite Britpop song, though I'd hesitate to call it the best Britpop song. It introduced Britpop to the world, and it's a fine introduction to the top thirty songs.

29. "Check the Rhime" - A Tribe Called Quest

The 90s were the most fruitful decade of hip-hop, with the genre evolving in so many different directions as to become, arguably, the best musical movement of the decade. Flows and cadences evolved, themes matured, and beats became more dynamic. Yet, within all of this, one cannot forget the old-school, schoolyard raps that invented the genre. One cannot have the Notorious B.I.G. and the Wu-Tang Clan without the Sugarhill Gang, the Treacherous Three, and Kurtis Blow. These simpler iambic raps may seem to have been just about partying, but they provided a voice of relief for tired African Americans suffering under the prejudices of a racist social system. In the 90s, no one recaptured this magic so well as A Tribe Called Quest. ATCQ went further than other throwback groups like the Jurassic 5, the Jungle Brothers, and the Black Eyed Peas, combining the rhythmic stylings of the early 80s with some of the finest production in hip hop history. "Check the Rhime" might not be their finest lyrical work, but it is the most representative song of their impressive production and conversational delivery.

"Check the Rhime" completely re-imagines its samples on a scale rivaled by very few other rap songs. The main saxophone riff comes from the bridge of Average White Band's "Love Your Life"; while the original is a mere breakdown within a larger funk song, the sample takes the musical core and remixes it so as to recreate the sound of a passing car horn. The spiraling riff practically simulates the Doppler effect using fades and crescendos to create a disconnect between the listener's stasis and the song's dynamism. The main beat for the verses comes from Minnie Ripperton's "Baby, This Love I Have," a forgettable piece of album filler from one of the worst one hit wonders in music history; an originally limp stand-up bass line becomes a thumping street-smart rhythm with the right application of piano shading and drums. Altogether, the music is the bounciest hip hop beat of the entire decade. Undoubtedly, more than a few cars rode their suspension to this tune.

But the real core of "Check the Rhime" comes from the interplay between ATCQ's two main emcees: Q-Tip and Phife Dawg. The introduction to each of the main verses is a brief dialogue between the two rappers about the golden age of hip hop, each asking the other if they are "on point" before they get the chance to go solo. The flow of both rappers is incredibly dynamic, rife with fake-outs, hemiolas, and syncopations. Plus, some of the punchlines are also rich: "I'm like an Energizer 'cause you see I last long," "if knowledge is the key then show me the lock/got the scrawny legs but I move like Lou Brock." It's just the two rappers having a great time, bouncing verses off each other like a kickball on a middle school four square game. Though Phife's Dawg's verse is admittedly a bit juvenile, Q-Tip's makes up for it with its occasional verbosity: "my optic presentation sizzles the retina." Taken together, the two verses form a very cohesive song.

All the bells and whistles of "Check the Rhime" work to produce a truly spectacular hip hop track. It's got tremendous production, great rapping, a unique conversational style for 90s rap music, and a wonderful musical texture. Though Phife Dawg passed away earlier this year, he can rest in peace knowing that he contributed to songs as spectacular as "Check the Rhime." This is hip-hop at its most fun as well as its most creative, a classic of its genre.

28. "Step On" - Happy Mondays

The Madchester dance scene gave rise to some of the most interesting hit songs of the late 80s and early 90s. Combining the throb of early house music with the guitar tone of New Wave and the bouncy piano of 70s disco, Madchester music occupied a critical space in the formation of dance music in the early 1990s. Many of the most popular indie pop artists of today, such as MisterWives, Of Monsters and Men, and the Go! Team, take inspiration from the sounds of Madchester: fusing sharp instrumentation with extremely percussive and precise beats. While the Stone Roses were the most influential group of the movement, most of their most important releases came out in 1989. Thus, the Happy Mondays are the group I've chosen to feature in this list, with their greatest masterpiece, "Step On."

In one sense, "Step On" is a cover of "He's Gonna Step on You Again" by John Kongos, a 1971 rock song released in the wake of the psychedelic period. The original is a very flawed song, using its guitar riffs in a relatively inefficient way, setting up its modulations rather poorly as compared to other songs of its era. "Step On," however, uses the enhanced recording techniques of the 1990s to give each musical climax more of a punch. The added wah-wah pedal applied to the guitar before the chorus gives the song's dynamism a big boost. Plus, the syncopated piano riff can get anyone into a groove. Perhaps the best musical part of the song is its sense of build, with each melodic line building the song from the ground up. By the time the final chorus comes around, the audience is in pure ecstasy.

"Step On" is one of few 90s songs to use repetition wholly to its advantage. Much like the minimalist music of Terry Riley or Steve Reich, its most interesting musical elements come forth when the short melodic lines are played against each other. The individual lines suggest different moods - the joy of the piano, the sexual allure and danger of the hammered-on guitar riff, the momentum of the drums - but the song manages to carefully negotiate these moods to create an atmosphere of real fun. Lead singer Shaun Ryder caps off the piece with a tempting lead vocal, drawing the listener into the song's universe.

Unfortunately for the Happy Mondays and the Madchester music scene, the party could only last for so long. Eventually, drug abuse and infighting led to the Happy Mondays' breaking up. Though Shaun Ryder would go on to form Black Grape, another fairly successful 90s dance group, the magic never quite returned to the Madchester scene without the most popular band active. Thus, as the 90s went on, the influence of the scene dwindled, allowing the early EDM of Daft Punk and Moby to rise to dominance. But, for the brief time in which Madchester ruled the dance scene, the Happy Mondays left us with a true classic.

27. "Fade Into You" - Mazzy Star

The 90s weren't a particularly good decade for love songs. While a number of love songs have been featured on this list - "Everlong," "Iris," "Enjoy the Silence" - they tended to be the exceptions within a decade of exceedingly overwrought ballads. Though I have a larger tolerance for songs like Whitney Houston's "I Will Always Love You" and Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On" than most people, I would be lying if I said they are indicative of real passion. The best love songs are intimate and delicate, much like Roberta Flack's "The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face" - my choice for the best love song in pop music. Mazzy Star's "Fade Into You" is the song that best exemplifies this tender aesthetic, and it's my choice for the best love song of the 90s... outside of Disney movies, of course.

"Fade Into You" sounds like a song sung immediately after the consummation of a relationship. Yet this is no mere hook-up; this is a long-cherished love come to fruition. Lead singer, Hope Sandoval's, poetry really shines - "I look at you and I see nothing/I look at you to see the truth" - cleverly negotiating the joys of love and the difficulties of not knowing exactly what a lover might think. The song combines the emotional climax of love with a reticence, as if the love might "fade" at any moment. While Hope's love might be with her in this moment, he might not be there the next day. She, however, feels the full emotional weight of their connection, leading the song to sound like a plea of passion. The very notion of "fading into you" suggests romantic surrender. Plus, Hope Sandoval's voice really adds a passionate quality to the entire song; it's far more powerful than even the belts of titans like Whitney Houston.

Yet the romantic joy of "Fade Into You" might be futile. Some of the lines in "Fade Into You" suggest that Hope's love might not be returned: "color your eyes with what's not there," "a stranger's heart without a home." Perhaps all of the feelings of romance are projections of what Hope wants as opposed to what actually is. Furthermore, there's a reason the chorus of the song is "fade into you" and not "melt into you," a phrase that equally suggests surrender and romantic balance. "Fade" suggests temporality and impermanence, and the suggestion only grows stronger as Hope Sandoval lingers on the word in each chorus. 

The guitar work on "Fade Into You" is masterful. The main chord progression is a simple I-V-ii, the same progression that grounds the Who's "Baba O'Riley." But while that song used that progression to pump up audiences to previously unachievable levels of catharsis, "Fade Into You" uses the progression to deny the listener a cadence. The song stretches out the romance so as to let the listener linger on each phrase and rest. Even better are the slide guitar interludes, creating dips and twangs in the song. Short segments of microtonality allow the listener to key into the emotional sentiments of the song without too much attachment to the music theory behind the sentiment; the notes between notes showcase the passion on an immediate level.

"Fade Into You" has become a sort of slow dance standards for 90s music nerds, and it's fortunately found its way into the mainstream to at least some extent. While its aesthetic might be emblematic of some of the 90s' more self-indulgent tendencies, the sentiment of the lyrics combined with the sultry vocals and immaculate guitar work really makes the song work. One might think of it as a song fit only to soundtrack cheesy film montages, but I see it as a legitimate 90s classic that will only continue to grow in popularity with age. It's the best love song of the decade... that wasn't written by Disney.

26. "Enter Sandman" - Metallica

I hate Metallica. Metallica has released some of the worst albums in music history, such as 2003's St. Anger and 2011's truly disastrous Lulu. Indeed, after these two albums, it's hard for anyone to truly like Metallica wholeheartedly; they've revealed themselves to be corporate sell-outs who don't care about musical integrity. But, unlike most music fans, I don't like Metallica's most acclaimed material either. During the 80s, Metallica represented everything wrong with thrash metal: all of their songs were in E minor, their lyrics were exceedingly pretentious, and their solos (except for "One" and "Fade to Black") were mostly soulless. In fact the only time I've ever liked Metallica is their eponymous 1991 album, an album on which they were accused of selling out. I agree: Metallica did sell out. And thank God for that, as it gave us "Enter Sandman," the heaviest pop song of all time.

Make no mistake: "Enter Sandman" is a pop song, not a metal song. Structurally, "Enter Sandman" has too few sections to qualify as a true metal song in the vein of Black Sabbath's "Black Sabbath" or Iron Maiden's "Rime of the Ancient Mariner" or a thrash song like Megadeth's "Holy Wars... The Punishment Due." It's got a verse, prechorus, chorus, bridge, chorus structure, just like "Don't Speak," "Torn," and other pop songs featured on this list. But the song's definitive pop signature is its best element: one of the best guitar riffs ever. And Metallica knew this was their masterpiece: they start the album with it, they set up the main tune with an ominous lead, and they shot one of the all-time greatest music videos to match it. As a marketing move, "Enter Sandman" is flawless.

It's even better as an actual song. Most Metallica songs discuss topics as weighty as war, drug abuse, and violence with the intellect of an eighth-grader. "Enter Sandman" strips away the pretensions to offer an alternative: pure fear. "Enter Sandman" gets back to heavy metal's roots as the genre of fear, using the Sandman as an access point to all the other themes Metallica handles less well. Yet it retreats just before the details emerge, turning the song into a perverse prayer to the nightmares latent within every young mind. It's so direct with its fear that it's impossible to not to have fun. Hell, James Hetfield even screams "boo!" after the final chorus.

Not to mention, those elements of Metallica that have always been good remain good. Kirk Hammett's lead guitar work and James Hetfield's riff work are as excellent as ever, with the former's guitar solo being quite possibly the best part of the song. Lars Ulrich, while an overrated drummer, gives a truly thunderous performance, a performance, unfortunately, that he'd do everything possible to tarnish on future releases. The production is also great, packing the full ferocity of Metallica's sound into a small space. The song is an assault upon the senses in the best way, tearing into the listener's mind and never letting go for a second.

"Enter Sandman" might be the "metal" tune beloved by people who don't like heavy metal, but it's ultimately the best representation of what non-extreme metal could be during the 1990s. Most every other hard rock band had to jump onto the grunge train in order to stay relevant, but Metallica managed to add some pop craft to their metal aesthetic to become more popular than ever. This song, in fact, was one of the main factors in the death of hair metal: it provided the first push against hair metal that Nirvana, Pearl Jam, and Soundgarden needed to finally bury the genre altogether. For that, even the most devoted of metal die-hards and metal haters owe this song credit. As for me, I'm just content to enjoy the only Metallica song I know with a true sense of structure and meaning.

25. "Firestarter" - The Prodigy

The 90s were the era of "cool." So many of the most important cultural icons of the period - the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, Sonic the Hedgehog, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Kurt Cobain - billed themselves on the cool factor alone. In fact, there was so much "cool" paraphernalia and cultural figures around at the time that we tended to forget exactly what cool was supposed to be. "Cool" inspires awe merely by being in something's presence while also being subversive of cultural stereotypes. When "cool" is too omnipresent, then it ceases to be cool. This is why the Fonz from Happy Days is still cool in spite of him being a one-note stereotype that's laughable by today's standards; he was the only character of his type around at the time. Thus, in determining the "coolest" song of the 90s, one needs to consider the song that inspires a feeling of moral shock yet indescribable awe. Enter "Firestarter" by the Prodigy.

The Prodigy held a crucial place in the early EDM scene of the 90s, serving as a sort of middle ground between poppier groups like Fatboy Slim and the Chemical Brothers and the often terrifying and highly extreme sound of Apex Twin, the era's zaniest and least predictable EDM star. They wouldn't dare release a song and music video as scary as "Come To Daddy," but they would release grim material such as "Smack My B**** Up" and "Breathe." But the song that best demonstrates everything great about the group is "Firestarter," which begins with one of the coolest guitar riffs ever recorded. The riff is sampled from a song by the Breeders (a band previously featured on this list), but the Prodigy enhance the cut through adding distortion and surrounding the guitar in a wind tunnel-esque effect. The rave pulses of the rest of the track only serve to enhance the riff, the backing synths heralding the guitar as if it is a signal of impending doom. Yet, as cool as the guitar is for its own end, its main effect is setting up the sudden crash of drums that form the backbone of "Firestarter"'s verses and chorus. The sense of build forms one of the most thrilling beats of the decade, one that tears up dance floors to this day.

Just as important as the production and backing beat is the Prodigy's lead singer, Keith Flint. The Prodigy distinguished themselves from their fellow rave peers through having a lead singer with his own unique persona, and Keith Flint's is certainly one of the most effective of the 90s: violent braggadocio that is wholly self-aware. When initial British pop critics condemned "Firestarter" for lyrics with violent content, they clearly were not in on the joke, as Flint's claims are far too over the top to be taken seriously. "I'm the bitch you hated, filth infatuated/I'm the pain you tasted, self-intoxicated" - these are lines written by schoolyard bullies, not seriously violent criminals. Flint even makes himself look like a Billy Idol knock-off in the music video: that's the quintessential look of a false punk. Yet this joke only manages to make the Prodigy more endearing: it's as if, in spite of all the cool factor, the Prodigy are aware that coolness and toughness only go so far. They seem to point to their own limitations as a dance group through their image itself.

As "Firestarter" creates a spiral in the ear, it manages to stake out its place in the canon of great 90s songs. Since it was the Prodigy's first major single, it lay the groundwork for all their other dark dance tracks, but it distinguishes itself through its punkish charm and tremendous guitar line. The song offers manic energy, transformative guitar effects, and vicious vocal delivery. It's everything that the best dance music of the 90s had to offer, from the best dance act of the period.

24. "A Design for Life" - Manic Street Preachers

The Manic Street Preachers were not the biggest Britpop band in the world: that was Oasis. Nor were the Manic Street Preachers the best Britpop band in the world: that title probably belongs to Suede or Blur. But the Manic Street Preachers were by far the most influential and musically diverse Britpop group. They were the first true Britpop group, starting out with post-punk EPs before evolving into the most melodically proficient Britpop band of the 1990s. Their guitar riffs and chorus arcs created the framework for all successful Britpop acts, and there's an argument to be made that their act has never been bettered. By all accounts, the Manics are one of the absolute best bands of their era, and I wholeheartedly endorse all of their material. "A Design for Life" is their magnum opus, the greatest arena Britpop song of them all.

"A Design for Life" was released on the Manics' 1996 album, Everything Must Go. Just months before, the band's rhythm guitarist and chief songwriter, Richey Edwards, disappeared; to date, he has not been found. Left without a frontman, songwriting duties fell to the bassist, Nicky Wire. Unsurprisingly, Wire suffered from trauma-induced writers' block, being unable to come up with any ideas in the wake of his close friend's disappearance, an event so tragic and emotionally frustrating that he couldn't even come up with many songs about the topic itself. Ultimately, he turned to the themes that had often defined the Manics' music: the merits of socialism and the dangers of political bureaucracy. The byproduct was a song inspired by Ennio Morricone, R.E.M., and Phil Spector, an ode to and a critique of the middle class.

"A Design for Life" negotiates its lyrical contradictions with remarkable elegance. The pre-chorus, perhaps the most iconic part of the song, castigates the upper classes who would dare to place glass ceilings upon the middle class: "and we are not allowed to spend/for we are told that this is the end." Yet the verses reveal a working class clinging to violence and alcohol as sources of meaning: "I wish I had a bottle right here in my dirty face/To wear the scars to show from where I came." The band's concludes that neither of these paths are moral. The only remaining path is "a design for life," not necessarily one of individuality or one of collectivity. I like to interpret the song as endorsing a design for life created by government for the purposes of the many and a design for life created by individuals for their own moral self-governance. The song balances feelings of both freedom and guidance; why should not the lyrical interpretation?

The melody of "A Design for Life" soars. The song is packed full of excellent guitar arpeggios and riffs, but the singing of James Dean Bradfield triumphs over all. Bradfield is the best singer of the Britpop bands, having an emotional range and vocal range unmatched by his peers. With him at the helm, the anthemic roar of "a design for life" whirls through the air. The drums and strings add tremendously to the ambience, generating a truly epic sentiment; this song should appeal to all, and the musical fulness reflects that appeal.

But perhaps my favorite part of "A Design for Life" is the song's composition. The song's verses predominantly feature seventh chords, which, while interesting to the ear by virtue of adding another note to the chord, don't provide any resolution; the pre-chorus and chorus, on the other hand, move to standard major and minor chords while constantly modulating keys. The song's chord progression completes a full circle (granted, not a circle of fifths, but a circle nonetheless) before heading back to C major. These small musical puns enhance an already tremendous song.

"A Design for Life" is a workers' anthem that wouldn't offend the staunchest of capitalist conservatives: the music is simply too good for anyone to take issue with it. Indeed, the only people who tend to dislike "A Design for Life" are those Manics' fans who think it draws too much attention away from the rest of the band's catalogue. While this is true, to some extent, I think the song's popularity is warranted. It's the only Manic Street Preachers' song that truly opens itself to a community with open arms as opposed to complete distrust and occasionally patronizing attitudes. This is not to say that the Manics' other songs are bad - far from it - but this is the one that can communicate with just about anyone. That's why it's one of the best Britpop songs ever.

23. "Only Shallow" - My Bloody Valentine

"Only Shallow" is the best shoegaze song ever. This is far from an unorthodox opinion, even within shoegaze circles, but it often does not pay enough credit to the development of shoegaze as a genre. The sound first emerged in the post-punk of the 70s band, Suicide, whose emphasis on guitar feedback created a misty aesthetic that overwhelmed the listener. In the 1980s, the Jesus and Mary Chain combined Suicide's noise with pop songwriting to come up with one of the most influential LPs of their era, Psychocandy. Simultaneously, Sonic Youth used intentionally distorted and dischordant guitar sounds to craft their 80s magnum opus, Daydream Nation. My Bloody Valentine's Loveless album combined both of these sounds to create music that sounded almost totally alien. One need only listen to the first few seconds of "Only Shallow" to realize the result.

The guitar riff to "Only Shallow" catches the listener completely off guard. The opening drum roll is the simplest pattern in music possible - a basic 4 quarter-note rhythm. Then, without warning, a guitar riff from the Andromeda galaxy plunges the listener into the song's ethereal universe. On a musical level, the guitar doesn't do very much, just shifting from the dominant to the supertonic in order to lead back to the main tonic chord. But, sonically, the guitar tone is ridiculously complex. To produce the desired effect, Kevin Shields placed a microphone between two guitar amps facing each other. The feedback loops from the amplified sound waves create one of the most shocking and stunning introductions to any song I've ever heard. The rest of the song just layers guitar texture upon guitar texture onto this haunting riff, to the point at which the song just might become crowded. Yet the simple I-V-I chord progression underneath grounds all of the sound into a cohesive musical idea.

That said, many My Bloody Valentine fans don't praise "Only Shallow" to the same extent as their other songs due to the relatively "shallow" lyrical content. "Only Shallow"'s lyrics describe sleeping with someone... and that's about it. There's no real sense of detail; the whole song might as well be called "sleep with someone as if she/he was a pillow." However, that sentiment matches the song's structure perfectly. The verses, sung by the sultry and mysterious Bilinda Butcher, have a calming presence after the sonic freak-out of the song's beginning. The melody practically lulls the listener into a sense of sleep, before the main guitar riff returns in a nightmarish fashion. Yet, should one listen to the guitar riff in a different context, that blare could suggest the passions of sex. The perfect fifth grounding the riff certainly creates a pulse. While the riff implies the physicality of the act, the verses imply the bliss and joy of the experience.

"Only Shallow" shook indie-rock to its core. To this day, Loveless is considered one of the greatest albums of the 90s, if not one of the greatest rock albums ever, merely for how much it changed listeners' expectations of what rock and roll could sound like. This song was a paradigm shift almost as powerful as Led Zeppelin's sonic freak-out in "Whole Lotta Love," the Kinks' power chord in "You Really Got Me," or the blindingly fast taps of Van Halen's "Eruption." This is the signature guitar moment of the decade, and for that, it deserves commemoration. The only reason this song isn't any higher is its relatively simple musical structure, but, on grounds of innovation alone, it deserves my praise. 

22. "Katy Song" - Red House Painters

A great deal of this list's ranking did come down to personal opinion. While I do consider the one hundred songs on the list to be the best tracks of the 90s, the order is far less clear. It's with that in mind that I place the Red House Painters' "Katy Song" at 22, over "A Design for Life," "Only Shallow," "Enter Sandman," and several other dozen songs that have left a greater impact on musical culture than an indie break-up song from a band only Pitchfork nerds would know about. But I rank "Katy Song" so highly due to its effect on me: few break-up songs have ever moved me to tears, but "Katy Song" has.  I'm admitting my bias here, but it's a bias that must give a truly spectacular song its due.

The Red House Painters were the first project of indie songwriting legend, Mark Kozelek. Kozelek is notorious in indie circles for practically defining the aesthetic of what most people see as indie rock: flat vocals, songwriting bordering on the pretentious, douche-y behavior, low keyed guitar lines. But even the staunchest of Mark Kozelek haters concede that his work with the Red House Painters is his best, and that "Katy Song" is his greatest work. Written in the aftermath of Kozelek's break-up with his girlfriend, "Katy Song" is a cutting admission of guilt. Kozelek is certain everything that went wrong is his fault, and, based on his comments, it's hard to not agree.

"Katy Song"'s main lyrical conceit is the structure of the verse: Mark Kozelek ends each phrase on the penultimate word of its logical grammatical ending, creating a feeling of emotional incompletion. This scheme also serves to pronounce the penultimate word, usually an adjective with negative connotations - "cutting," "blackest," "bleeding," "no," "pinches" - with "I" above all being the most pronounced word in the song. This "I" is a person who was unwilling to follow up his emotion with action, denying his love family, comfort, security, and, above all, equality. Mark Kozelek's greatest anger seems pointed at the fact he didn't love someone enough, as he was unwilling to make the sacrifices love demands. Now left without his love, he is but a bleeding heart "empty and bothered/watching the water/quiet in the corner/numb and falling through."

In between each verse, twin lead guitar solos create a mournful tango. The song's other elements fade as the melodies twinkle against each other. Sentiments of nostalgia, longing, mourning, and defeatism hang on each note, and the listener gets hooked on each dip and dive of the guitar. It's a stunning musical complement to the lyrics, giving us the backstory that the song's lyrics never admit. The greatest tragedy to the song is the clarity and beauty of the love that used to exist but was ultimately destroyed by one's person's apathy to the other's needs.

The outro to "Katy Song" is one of the most perfect of the 90s. Mark Kozelek is far from a great singer, and his song barely admits of emotion throughout the rest of the track, but he gives it his emotional all on the ending. The only words are "la la la la la," but it is as if Mark Kozelek is pouring his heart into each nonsense syllable. All the while, the pedals on the guitar lines go haywire, allowing feedback from each guitar pluck to reverberate throughout the track. The guitar tone gets more abrasive as well, with rapid strums illustrating our narrator's emotional breakdown. In the background, the bass line suggests the greatest tragedy: the narrator is only making the situation worse by inflicting all of his pain onto himself.

"Katy Song" is by far the most profound and genuine emotional statement in the Mark Kozelek catalogue. Though he has written hundreds of songs all claiming to be profound statements on humanity and the nature of love, "Katy Song" is the only one I know that earns its place in the indie rock canon unequivocally. If one is to come to enjoy Mark Kozelek's music, this is the song I recommend. It's one of the greatest break-up songs of the 90s, albeit not the saddest. That title belongs to...


21. "I Can't Make You Love Me" - Bonnie Raitt

The adult alternative genre has become one of the most universally hated and mocked genres in all of 90s music. Looking at some of the most popular songs of the genre - Bryan Adams's "(Everything I Do) I Do It For You," Marc Cohn's "Walking in Memphis," and anything by Peabo Bryson or Michael Bolton -  I can see why so many people hate it. Adult alternative thrives on being musically overwrought and lyrically simplistic and over sentimental: the only good quality it has going for it is top notch singing. But, when the right lyrics are paired up with the right singer, adult alternative can create some of the most powerful songs in the history of pop music.  Bonnie Raitt's "I Can't Make You Love Me" is the high watermark of the genre, and it's one of the most heartbreaking songs in existence.

Bonnie Raitt always prided herself as one of the few girls in country rock who didn't just rock as good as the guys, but better than the guys. During her peak years in the 1970s, she didn't just outsing every man on the scene; she outplayed half of them on guitar. In fact, Bonnie Raitt is one of the most talented female guitar players in rock and roll history; her skill is rivaled only by legendary players like Joni Mitchell and Maybelle Carter. Yet "I Can't Make You Love Me" presents a different Bonnie Raitt than the one confidently rocking on "Something to Talk About." This is a Bonnie Raitt weary of love, her lover, and the world. Her voice and experience cuts through the entire recording, turning a record that would sound kitschy, trite, and cliché into one of the saddest songs one will ever hear.

The poetry of "I Can't Make You Love Me" is blunt and forceful. While "Katy Song" bolstered its sadness on the metrical conceit of its lyrics and delivery, "I Can't Make You Love Me" explains everything in the chorus: "I can't make you love me if you don't/You can't make your heart feel something it won't." The rhymes are practically childish, but the emotion is so understandable and undeniably real that one wouldn't dare question the sentiment. The passion behind Bonnie Raitt's singing adds layers upon layers of complexity to the emotions. Why doesn't he love her? It appears that the two people involved in the song had some degree of closeness prior to the realization, but just what was the relationship? A friendship that eventually turned into one-sided fondness? A relationship that is dying, in which this song is the final admission of defeat? If not for the excellence of the delivery, we would not ask ourselves these questions; fortunately for us, Bonnie Raitt tells the story with the purity only she can relate.

Musically, as well, "I Can't Make You Love Me" earns its place in the rock canon. The song is in the key of B flat major, making it yet another sad 90s song in a predominantly major key. Yet, in a startling turn, the verses never fully resolve, leaving the listener in a constant state of musical unease. Indeed, during the only time the tonic chord is actually featured, in the third beat of the third measure, it is in first inversion, leaving the song in a musically unstable place. Thus, the song intentionally drifts, allowing the emotional despair to sink in until the realization of grief in the chorus. Then, at the very end of the song, the piece modulates to F major, the key of the song's dominant chord, as if offering hope for what comes next. But, then before the listener can get any hope, the pianist adds the ninth of the new key, C, to add a little more instability. Such musical creativity combined with such powerful singing makes for a truly moving experience.

"I Can't Make You Love Me" is also one of few pop songs of the 1990s that has taken on the status of "pop standard." Yet, unlike its peers, it doesn't earn that title through hokey-ness or emotional dishonesty. Rather, the song's sheer elegance and musical cleverness make it work. The song hides its stunning emotional core under a sheen of cheesy production, but Bonnie Raitt's evocative voice lays it all bare for the listener to reach the song's emotional and musical core. Its impact might have lessened due to its being over performed on reality television, but, for its time, it became the quintessential song for all unrequited romances. It's a song that asked us not to patronize it as lovers and listeners: for that, it deserves my praise.

Saturday, January 30, 2016

Top Ten Best Television Episodes I Saw in 2015


Another year down, another year of watching more and more TV through Netflix and YouTube. This year, I tried to broaden my horizons, watching more anime series so as to better understand the medium and watching more episodic television series in general. Overall, I will say the shows I've watched this year of a decidedly lesser caliber than the ones I saw last year. Most of the shows I saw this year merely served to entertain me as opposed to enthrall me, and the selections this year tend to reflect that difference. While I adored shows like Fawlty Towers last year, this year's offerings weren't as brilliant in either their comedy or their drama. This is not to say that these episodes are bad, per se; for the most part, though, they're not as good as the ones I saw last year, especially in the lower entries. But there's still a lot to analyze, so let's get started. SPOILERS AHEAD!

Honorable Mentions:

"Chapter 29" - House of Cards

In my eyes, Season 3 of House of Cards wasn't as disastrous as most critics made it out to be, but it was nonetheless a step down from the first two seasons. The plot felt pretty directionless; the only momentum the story really had was in slowly tearing apart the Underwoods' marriage and the rather effective Douglas Stamper arc. However, the political wonkery of the show started to fall apart, with the mechanisms of the Underwoods becoming increasingly bizarre. "Chapter 29," however, was my personal favorite episode of the series, pitting Frank Underwood against the equally savvy Russian President Viktor Petrov. The first meeting of the two characters presented two politicians who have clearly pulled more than a few strings to reach their positions, and their banter was incredibly fun, albeit intense. Petrov appears to be the one opponent Underwood cannot simply depose of: it's hard to beat a politician operating in a completely different political system. The duel between these adversaries was the best part of Season 3, and I can't wait to see how the relationship develops in Season 4.

"Flatline" - Doctor Who

Boy, Series 8 of Doctor Who was rough. Though I immensely prefer Peter Capaldi to Matt Smith as a Doctor, the episodes of the eighth series were not effective whatsoever. While it was nice to see the Master return (and as a woman no less), the grand plot behind the season was pretty stupid overall. (Zombie Cybermen? Are you kidding me?) The only episode that stood out in a good way was "Flatline," a fun science fiction story involving dimension hopping and some nice role reversal that actually gave companion Clara Oswald a bit more narrative purpose. Instead of feeling like a constant drag or a nagging mother figure, as she did throughout most of the season, she used her confidence to show the leadership we expect from a good companion. Plus, Peter Capaldi's dancing is downright adorable.

"The Murder of Sherlock Holmes" - Murder, She Wrote

Murder, She Wrote is a curious show. Its writing isn't as spectacular as that of Columbo or The Rockford Files or any number of other mystery shows I've seen, but Angela Lansbury is such a good actor that it doesn't really matter. Of the episodes I watched in 2015, "The Murder of Sherlock Holmes" sticks out the most, if only for the genuine tension the episode presents in the last few minutes. The reveal of the killer is one of the best I've seen in a show, one as heartbreaking as it is horrifying.

"A Matter of Honor" - Star Trek: The Next Generation

The closest entry to making the list, "A Matter of Honor" is a very strong episode of a science fiction show into which I'm having trouble making a tremendous amount of headway. I'm not a big fan of Star Trek's pacing, but I do appreciate its culture and universe. Of the episodes I watched in 2015, "A Matter of Honor" delved the furthest into said universe, giving us a better look at the Klingon lifestyle than most any other episode of the multiple series up to the point of its release. Furthermore, it's the first episode that made me truly appreciate the relationship between Riker and the Enterprise crew. The conflict of interest between Starfleet protocol and the importance of Riker's friendships is put on glorious display. The stakes are tremendous, and it's an absolutely enthralling watch. It just barely missed the list.

Number 10

"A Devil of Vengeance: Makoto Shishio's Plot" - Rurouni Kenshin

Some shows establish their excellence through episodes, others through overarching plots. While most of the episodes on this list fall into the former category, "A Devil of Vengeance" falls squarely into the latter. Rurouni Kenshin's Kyoto arc is one of the most engaging and powerful stories in all of shonen anime, a compelling story of personal growth, victory, and, ultimately, redemption. It's rife with the standard shonen tournament fighter tropes - high level battle techniques, increasingly powerful enemies, and oh so much screaming - but it has an emotional core far stronger than that of any other shonen show I've seen. Though their backstories are relatively simple, the characters are extremely likable and relatable. The show's chief weapons are its creative action sequences, its rich atmosphere, and, most important, its spectacular dialogue. The stories are simple, but they're related in just the right way as to draw the maximum pathos. "A Devil of Vengeance" is the beginning of this excellent arc, and it's a tremendous introduction to one of shonen's best stories.

A word of warning: "A Devil of Vengeance" shouldn't be watched unless one has watched the preceding episode, "Strongest Opponent of the Past: Merciless Fangs Strike." In it, we are introduced to Saito Hajime, the only swordsman we've yet encountered able to match our hero, Kenshin Himura, blade for blade. That episode establishes the long-held animosity between the two swordsmen: the two were the best fighters on either sides of the shogunate wars that ended Japan's Edo period. "A Devil of Vengeance" begins mid-duel, featuring the best combat animation in the entire series. Both the speed and the attention to detail are incredible: every drop of blood or sweat, every wrinkle in their robes, every spark of their blades pops. It's truly a sight to behold.

Every frame looks this good. Behold the excellent character design.
Even more important, the combat actually has a narrative function. The real fight isn't the battle between Kenshin and Saito, but the battle between Kenshin and his past. Saito holds the upper hand throughout the entire duel, throwing aside Kenshin's offense effortlessly and exploiting every vulnerability. The only way Kenshin can match him is tapping into his own darker side, his former identity of Battousai - the "Man Slayer." While Kenshin strives to be a servant to others and a gentle wanderer, the Battousai has no compunctions killing anything or anyone that moves. Worst of all, once Kenshin dips into that side of himself, it's nearly impossible for him to extricate himself from his bloodlust. It's the same principle guiding the One Ring of J.R.R. Tolkein's Lord of the Rings: the power of the Battousai is more than able to save Kenshin's life, but using that power makes him lose that which is worth living. We feel terrible when Saito wounds Kenshin, but we feel even worse when Kenshin turns the tide and begins wailing on Saito. The fight scene takes up almost half the episode's run time, but it's a fight that actually advances the story and develops the character.

And then there's a plot twist.

We learn Saito was only fighting Kenshin so to test his strength; in actuality, Saito is an undercover cop for the Meiji government who needs Kenshin's help to eliminate an even greater threat to Japan. In the final half of the episode, we learn of the Meiji government's vested interest in eliminating the real Big Bad of the series, Makoto Shishio. Shishio himself is a foreboding villain, a murderous hitokiri intent upon destroying the Meiji government with an army of the world's most lethal warriors. Saito is but the opening test, an appetizer for the fights to come. This reveal makes the audience interested in watching the rest of the arc: how much more powerful is Shishio than Saito? Will Kenshin have to fully transform into the Battousai in order to match this new threat? With these factors in mind, "A Devil of Vengeance" is a tremendous piece of set-up for a great story full of excellent character development, great animation, and some of the most enthralling "narrative through combat" in anime history.

Number 9

"Changing Channels" - Supernatural

Supernatural is not a show for me. Is it a bad show? I'd hesitate to say so, but it's got more than a few flaws. The misogyny is pretty blatant (AKA killing every major female character), the acting is incredibly rusty (if I have to look at Jensen Ackles's pouty face one more time, I swear to God...), the pacing is rather spotty (the first season is as painful as a root canal), and the effects and atmosphere are, at best, underwhelming (someone clearly watched Lost before designing the demon effect). However, the main reason I don't like it is simple: I don't like the main characters. I find both Sam and Dean Winchester extremely unlikable; the objectively bad performances of both Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki combined with the melodrama of the script makes for two characters I'm bound to dislike.

That said, I do enjoy Supernatural when it decides to stop taking itself seriously and focuses solely on the humor. "Changing Channels" is easily the funniest episode of Supernatural I've seen, as it's little more than a series of television parodies loosely strung together by a plot to discover the true identity of the Trickster who has pestered the Winchester brothers throughout three seasons. The Trickster traps Sam and Dean inside the television programs of the Supernatural universe, forcing them to play their roles in the shows in order to survive. From an insane Japanese game show, to Knight Rider, to a commercial for STD medication, hilarity ensues. The real humor here isn't so much the accuracy of the parodies themselves as it is the absurdity of seeing two melodramatic characters forced into comedic roles. Supernatural is always at its best when Sam and Dean are more relaxed and humorous, allowing the actors to play themselves rather than the characters. "Changing Channels" allows them to do that for a good half hour.

Speaks for itself...
Some of the parodies are absolute bullseyes. The cheesy sitcom opening perfectly captures the tone of bad sitcoms of the 80s and 90s: Full House is screaming as it is so lovingly lampooned. Everything, from the corny one-liners, to the canned laughter, to the garish set design, works. But my personal favorite parody is probably the "Dr. Sexy MD" segment. When one has lived in a household with two family members who love Grey's Anatomy, the horniest hospital on network television, one is more than happy to see a parody complete with melodramatic speeches, hushed dialogue, and characters best described as "the sexy and 'insert adjective here' doctor." It's equally funny to learn that Dean Winchester, the more stereotypically masculine of the two brothers, is a closet fan.

However, as funny as "Changing Channels" is, two factors keep it from getting much higher on this list. First of all, not every parody works. The parody of procedural cop dramas is extremely short-sighted, not taking any factors into consideration aside from one liners and the use of the term "ligature marks." Also, the Knight Rider parody just isn't that funny either, if only because Knight Rider was a ridiculous enough show to begin with. More importantly, though, "Changing Channels" isn't a particularly original episode. Teen Titans featured a similar episode back in 2005, in which a villain named Control Freak trapped the Teen Titans inside their television and forced them to fight him using the set pieces. "Changing Channels" was released in 2009; while I doubt the episode intends to plagiarize a kid show, the idea isn't exactly original. Thus, even at its best, Supernatural is towards at the bottom of this list.

Number 8


"Toguro's Wish" - Yu Yu Hakusho

Yu Yu Hakusho is a weird show. Not that it's strange: it's a standard shonen tournament fighter. In bare-bones terms, there's little difference between Yu Yu Hakusho and Dragonball Z, the tournament fighter anime to which all subsequent series are compared. However, Yu Yu Hakusho is a strange beast in that it is far better than it has any right to be. The characters start out as one note caricatures, but they develop into alarmingly interesting and compelling individuals. Indeed, the only way Yu Yu Hakusho and Dragonball Z are comparable is their genre: in every other respect, Yu Yu Hakusho outclasses Dragonball Z. The fighting isn't as tedious, there's less filler, the jokes are funnier, the characters are more endearing, the character design is sharper, and the themes are more interesting. Most importantly, Yu Yu Hakusho knows how to reflect on the action and question exactly what was at stake while our protagonists were duking it out. "Toguro's Wish" is the finest example.

"Toguro's Wish" ends the Dark Tournament saga of Yu Yu Hakusho, a saga essentially amounting to forty straight episodes of non-stop fighting. While these fights are admittedly entertaining (mostly because of the animation, not the writing), they don't amount to much more than visual Cinnamon Toast Crunch - bits of sawdust with sugar on top. Most of the stories and characters are cliché. Our hero, Yusuke Urameshi, develops as a warrior (I mean, "spirit detective") through defeating increasingly more powerful monsters, all capped off by a Big Bad villain named Toguro. Toguro is a brute intent upon destroying Yusuke so as to have a truly satisfying battle - a common trope among shonen tournament fighter villains. During the tournament, he kills Yusuke's mentor figure, Genkai, with whom he's shared a common past - nothing original so far. Finally, after a four episode slog fest, Yusuke kills Toguro and wins the Dark Tournament. The saga ends, with the viewer anticipating more action in the next arc. Yet, along comes "Toguro's Wish," an episode requiring one to reflect on exactly what was at stake in the previous arc.

The main focus of "Toguro's Wish" is uncovering the real motivation of Toguro throughout the Dark Tournament. The bulk of the arc makes it seem as if Toguro participated in the Dark Tournament so to unleash a horde of demons on the Earth and face one great fight against Yusuke. He even killed Genkai, his former love interest, so to make Yusuke a stronger opponent. Yet "Toguro's Wish" reveals an even darker story. As it turns out, Toguro abandoned his humanity to become a demon after the former Dark Tournament champion murdered all of his martial arts students. Once he defeated the champion in an act of revenge, Toguro realized that he loved power for its own sake too much to be truly considered a good person. Wallowing in self-martyrdom, he sacrificed his humanity so to become the last great challenge for a human destined to defeat him. His villainy doesn't come from the pleasure of being bad; rather, he's villainous out of his own sense of narrative obligation. His extremes end up destroying him in life.

Plus, Toguro finally takes off his sunglasses.
Yet Toguro makes an interesting choice. When Koenma, the judge of the afterlife, prepares to give him a sentence based on his good deeds and his bad deeds, Toguro requests to be sent to the lowest level of Hell, being tortured for 10,000 years for his actions. Koenma very nearly refuses, thinking the punishment too severe for a man who once did great good for the world. But Toguro's personal need to torture himself trumps even the powers of heaven. Toguro's wish raises plenty of questions. If his personal opinion manages to win Koenma over, does fate truly control his life? Are the narratives we create for ourselves more powerful than any divine dictate? Do divine dictates only exist insofar as we create them? Each question makes Toguro that much more fascinating. His brief talk with Genkai on the bridge of the afterlife is undoubtedly my favorite scene in all of Yu Yu Hakusho, and it's a powerful reflection on the nature of choice and one's place in the universe.

Some episodes do a lot of things right while not doing any one thing extraordinarily well. "Toguro's Wish" is not one of these episodes. Aside from the scenes with Toguro, Koenma, and Genkai, the rest of the episode is fairly average for the rest of the show. Yet those two main scenes are done so well that the rest of the episode doesn't really matter. Best of all, one doesn't even need to watch the rest of the Dark Tournament saga to really enjoy them. Thus, for anyone not desiring to watch the bulk of Yu Yu Hakusho, I would definitely recommend watching "Toguro's Wish" on its own. It's an extraordinary moment in an otherwise competent show.

Number 7

"Kimmy's in a Love Triangle" - The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt

Everyone who's had the pleasure to watch The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt knows how excellent a dark comedy it is. The story of a woman whose education was restricted to a ninth-grade level due to her being abducted by an insane preacher, The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt is able to mock the idiosyncrasies of modern society as compared to the 1980s while still managing to respect the intelligence of the audience and not offend those who have undergone traumatic experiences themselves. It's probably the show that made me laugh the most over the course of this year, featuring some of the smartest writing and best performances in a Netflix sitcom.

Kimmy Schmidt has finally found a stable living condition with her flamboyantly homosexual roommate, Titus Andromedon, a new job working as a nanny to the wealthy Voorhees family (no relation to the murderous family of Friday the 13th fame... though that is part of the joke), and even a new boyfriend in the über-rich socialite, Logan Beekman. Yet she learns that her math tutor and fellow GED student, Dong Nguyen, has romantic interest in her, and she's not sure which of the two men she cares for more. Additionally, Mr. Voorhees's latest marriage is falling apart. The eldest Voorhees daughter, Xan, is none too keen to live in Connecticut with her birth mother, preferring her entitled lifestyle; she thus enlists Kimmy's help to fake "bad girl" behavior so to stay in New York. Meanwhile, Titus needs to take acting lessons so to "pass" as a heterosexual, as employers continually deny him acting roles due to his flamboyance.

Not much can be said about this episode other than that it's got dozens of great jokes. Kimmy's aloofness to Xan's intentions in pretending to be a "bad girl" produces some of the best visual gags in any sitcom I've ever seen. The set design presents a massive caricature of the bad sides of New York only seen on television, what with a chalk outline on the floor, Kimmy wearing a T-shirt with "drugs" literally written onto it, and Titus storming into the building with a lacrosse stick. Titus's acting coach turns out to be Dean Norris (AKA Hank from Breaking Bad AKA the most manly-man character ever); the heterosexual male stereotypes that ensue are outright hilarious. How can you not laugh at quotes like "No! Straight men leave a buffer seat!"?

The best still from any episode on this list.
Plus, I have to give a shout out to the single best outro joke I've seen in any show ever: Harrison von Harrison Jr.'s "Daddy's Boy." During the episode, Kimmy breaks up with Logan after he reveals some extremely selfish tendencies; he reveals that he himself is a daddy's boy, much in the vein of a long-forgotten fictional Broadway musical. We finally get to see this musical in the outro. It's a complete black and white parody of the golden age of musical theatre, perfectly capturing the spirit of Guys and Dolls and similar shows. Best of all, the parody features the talents of Broadway veterans Nic Rouleau (The Book of Mormon), Jefferson Mays (A Gentleman's Guide to Love and Murder), and John Cullum (Urinetown/On a Clear Day You Can See Forever). It's practically a love letter to hackneyed early 20th century theatre and it's my single favorite joke from any TV episode I watched this year.

I'd definitely recommend The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt to any interested viewer. While the show hasn't quite developed the sense of heart of some of the all-time great TV comedies, it certainly has the humor to back up its intriguing premise. I can't wait to see how the show continues to develop the characters and the relationships in future seasons. If the writing stays this sharp, we might have a true classic on our hands.

Number 6

"Paradise" - Trigun

That spoiler warning I presented in the introduction applies for all subsequent episodes on this list except for entries 5 and 3. Heck, the picture used to introduce this segment makes it pretty clear that a major character dies in this episode, so you should really skip this one if you haven't seen Trigun yet... or, you could be like me and have this death spoiled for you and enjoy the episode nonetheless.

Trigun is the best shonen anime I've ever seen. Granted, I haven't seen that many; my attempting to watch so many anime series over the course of this year has mostly been my attempt to catch up to the cultural grade curve. Yet shonen anime have nearly always presented themselves as either immature (Dragon Ball Z), melodramatic (Code Geass), or outright rancid (Death Note). Trigun defies all of these labels in the best way. It's got its moments of comedy and over-the-top histrionics, but the characters themselves are extremely adult. Vash the Stampede is one of the best protagonists in any young adult television series, a character haunted by his apocalyptic past but not defined by it. His enemies are truly monstrous, from his species-ist and über-utilitarian brother, Knives, to Knives's even more lethal and genocidal second-in-command, Legato Bluesummers. Yet Vash's most dangerous enemy ends up being his best friend: a preacher-gunslinger named Nicholas D. Wolfwood. Though the two save each others' lives on many an occasion, we eventually find out Wolfwood is an unwilling member of the Gung-Ho Guns dedicated to killing Vash and his friends. "Paradise" finally pits the two friends against each other. And the outcome is heartbreaking.

Yeah. The Biblical symbolism is pretty overt in this show.
"Paradise" is full of exciting gunfights against a number of memorable opponents, not least of which is the brief fight between Vash and Wolfwood, but the real battle is one of ideology. Trigun is a very Christian show: the series might as well be an Aesop's fable for "turn the other cheek." Vash's main goal throughout the show is to defeat his enemies without killing them, trying to have them renounce their wicked ways on their own terms. Nonetheless, either innocents, turned sinners, or both end up dying anyways, as killers like Legato are all too willing to pull the trigger when Vash won't. Thus, Vash constantly fears whether or not he ends up destroying more lives than he saves. Wolfwood, on the other hand, is strictly utilitarian. He will do whatever it takes to save the most lives as possible. He follows this code even if it means killing Vash, whose body is a ticking hydrogen bomb, or killing children indoctrinated into following Knives's and Legato's genocidal manifesto. Wolfwood only joins the Gung-Ho Guns so to protect an orphanage of children from being killed by the other members. Vash stands in his way, criticizing Wolfwood for his point of view. It is better to try and save everyone without killing rather than sacrifice the some for the needs of the many. In the true climax of the episode, Vash offers Wolfwood a chance to permanently trade roles: should Wolfwood kill Vash, he must swear to never take another life, no matter the cost. Jesus Christ offers John the Baptist a chance to take up his cross.

While the philosophy of the episode is fascinating, it doesn't get in the way of traditional character development. The conclusion of Vash and Wolfwood's battle has as much to do with the 12 episodes of preceding character development as it does the characters' personal philosophies. As Wolfwood makes his choice, he's not just reflecting upon the purpose of his life; he's considering his friendship with Vash, the various things the two have done for each other, Vash's companion, Milly, whom he has come to love, his tutelage under Chapel, the most lethal gunman of the Gung-Ho Guns - all of these factors spiral into a few frames, but their impact is clear. We reflect upon exactly why we like both Vash and Wolfwood as characters. They're not merely physical embodiments of abstract principles; they're very real people we've come to care about via their banter, battles, and brotherhood. The choice has tremendous weight, on both a philosophical and a personal level.

Yet the episode's tragic denouement is a reflection upon what happens when choice is denied. As one could probably tell from the thumbnail, Wolfwood dies at the end of this episode, sacrificing his life to save his friends. However, he only dies because Legato, gifted with the ability to telekinetically control others' bodies, forces an unwilling Chapel to pull the trigger. As Wolfwood's lifeblood pours out, he questions exactly what choices he made in the past. If one was ignorant of the good choice, was one really guilty of performing the evil option? Were the choices he made in the past too damning for his sacrifice to count? Is dying itself a matter of fate or a matter of will? The lack of resolution haunts Wolfwood, as he declares "I did not want to die this way!" right before succumbing to his injuries. The cut to Milly crying after Wolfwood dies is the most punishing edit on the entire list.

"Paradise" presents an interesting examination of Christian values versus Benthamian utilitarianism through a gunfight between two friends. It completes one of the most important character arcs of Trigun. It's spectacularly animated, thrillingly paced, and genuinely affecting. It's the saddest episode on this list, but it's the kind of sadness that any television fan enjoys.

Number 5

"Threat Level Midnight" - The Office (US)

Guess who came late to The Office party? Back when I was in high school, The Office was the show all of my friends watched, quoted, and breathed. However, I didn't watch much television at all during high school, so most of the references and characters went completely over my head. For a few months, I didn't even know where the quote "that's what she said" came from. Now, having watched the show all the way through, I find its influence staggering. So much of the humor my educational cohort uses on social media is inspired directly from The Office. Indeed, our very sense of comedic timing seems to be derived from this show and no other, from the pauses to the delivery. While I can't say I love the show, as it wasn't as funny as many older comedy shows I've seen, I completely understand why it became the quintessential network television comedy of my generation.  Thus, I've chosen the episode at which I laughed the hardest: "Threat Level Midnight."

Some might criticize this choice, as it isn't really an episode of The Office; it doesn't even follow the plot of the main series. It's mostly the airing of Michael Scott's home movie, "Threat Level Midnight," at an office party. The film in question is a film that's equal parts Michael Bay and Ed Wood: preposterously over-the-top in its action sequences yet so incompetent in its filming that it ends up completely lovable. Within the story itself, the secret agent, Michael Scarn, must stop the evil Goldenface from blowing up the NHL All-Star game. Meanwhile, the actual characters in the office must hold back their laughter lest Michael stop them from watching the movie so to protect his pride. Thus, there's a nice bit of tension between the fictional audience and the real audience: while we are laughing hysterically at all the bad jokes, they must try to watch the film as if it were serious.

"Threat Level Midnight" has two factors putting it above any other episode of The Office. The first, obviously, is the humor. I laughed more at "Threat Level Midnight" than any other episode. Most of the popular episodes of The Office focus more on the character interactions and dynamics than the jokes; however, speaking personally, I always found the jokes far more compelling than the relationships. While I liked the Jim-Pam friendship-relationship-marriage, it wasn't the reason I kept watching. Usually, each episode has at least one really funny joke, a bunch of less funny jokes, and a good amount of relationship drama. Are these inherently bad? No. However, I'd rather have an episode that keeps me laughing; on that end, "Threat Level Midnight" more than succeeds. Everything - from the stinted dialogue, to the preposterously bad special effects, to the bizarro plotting - is so bad it's good. For any fan of Mystery Science Theatre 3000, this is a must watch.

But the more important factor, oddly enough, is the episode's continuity and sense of detail. "Threat Level Midnight" was shot at the same time as the rest of the Office's seventh season, but the producers of the show make it appear as if the movie was filmed as the show's narrative was progressing. We see characters who only appeared in a few seasons, like Rashida Jones's Karen from Season 3, in multiple silly cameos. Not only that, but the cameos also span the entire length of the show, drawing upon every previous season. More crucially, every bit of costume and make-up design reflects the production of the movie in the continuity of the show. Jan's cameo was clearly shot in Season 4, when the character was in a relationship with Michael. Jim and Pam's scenes were shot in Season 2, when the pair's relationship was still on edge. All the bells and whistles fit, making "Threat Level Midnight" as much an ode to The Office's metahistory as it is an ode to Ed Wood movies.

"Threat Level Midnight" is a fun ride from beginning to finish. It made me laugh more than any other episode of television I saw in 2015. I'll leave you all with a request to "do the Scarn."


Number 4

"Can You Face Your True Feelings" - Puella Magi Madoka Magica

Puella Magi Madoka Magica might be Japanese, but it's really Greek. To be unnecessarily more specific, it's a Greek Sophoclean tragedy, for hamartia, also known as "the fatal flaw," is the show's central mechanic. In PMMM, every character gets the deal of a lifetime: make one wish - with any scope whatsoever - and spend the rest of one's life fighting monsters as a "magical girl." Nearly every character is eager to accept the wish... except those who know the real outcome. As it turns out, one's wish is one's downfall. "Can You Face Your True Feelings" is the first time we see this happen, and the result is heartbreaking.

Sayaka Miki is my favorite character in PMMM, as her personality and character are the most complete. Madoka is little more than an avatar; Mami is a rather standard mentor figure who dies early on; Kyoto is a generic renegade; Homura is a walking, albeit sympathetic, plot device. Sakaya, however, is completely vibrant. She's a tomboy who wears her heterosexuality on her sleeve. She's caring, considerate, and compassionate. She's energetic, vibrant, absolutely joyful. She's thoughtful, cultured, and principled. Of all the characters, she's the only one that acts like a real teenage girl, a completely three-dimensional character rife with personal demons and emotional inconsistencies. We sympathize with her the most. Thus, when she makes a wish to heal a crippled teenage violinist and becomes a "magical girl," we're rooting for her. Sure, one of the other characters previously died on the show, but, certainly, Sayaka will be able to endure. Right?

Wrong.

As the beginning of "Can You Face Your True Feelings" reveals, the real cost of becoming a "magical girl" is losing one's soul. PMMM's equivalent of Mephistopheles, Kyuubey, transfers the girl's soul into a gem so to give the body enhanced endurance. The body is technically dead, little more than a husk controlled by pure will. That's all that's left. The person, in essence, is a zombie with feelings, able to impart emotion to those aware of the pact but appearing as distant and lonely to everyone else. The Sayaka we've came to love died the moment she said "I wish." The loss of the soul in PMMM, commonly interpreted as an allusion to Goëthe's Faust, is, in a ways, an inversion of Faust. While Faust's pact is completed so long as he experiences one moment of perfect happiness, Sayaka's pact forever keeps that moment of happiness away. This level of complexity keeps PMMM interesting beyond its allusions to other media.

But could Sayaka's sacrifice be worth it? The episode gives us some hope by revealing the fate of Sayaka's personal rival, Kyoko. After revealing how her wish ruined her life, Kyoko implores Sayaka to never use her magical powers for the good of others and act like her: using her abilities to steal food, slay monsters, and enjoy youth. Yet Sayaka refuses to listen, vowing to use her magical powers for the benefit of others, regardless of the cost to her. For a moment, she becomes the Sayaka we knew from earlier episodes, in spite of the fact that her soul is now separated from her body. If anyone can break the cycle of wishes going wrong and ruining lives, she can. In fact, in the middle of the episode, she delivers a moving speech about the responsibility of using one's powers for the general good, leading up to one of the most emotionally uplifting moments of the show.

Note how I said "middle of the episode." There's a full ten minutes left. Within that time, we learn Sayaka is not so noble as she appears...

Those with weaker constitutions, have your tissues on standby.
Sayaka's wish comes not from a desire to make the world a better place by bringing back a prodigious musician, nor from a place of merely trying to heal one person's injuries. No: Sayaka has Florence Nightingaled over her friend for too long and has fallen in love with him. But, like Hans Christian Andersen's Little Mermaid, after saving her beloved's life, her sacrifice damns her. When one of Sayaka's friends reveals that she, too, has affection for Sayaka's love interest, Sayaka realizes she must cede her opportunity of dating him to her. After all, who could love someone whose soul has been ripped from her body? Who could love a literal zombie? Worse than that, Sayaka realizes that her choice hasn't just taken away this relationship from her, but any future relationship. She can never get a job. She can never start a family. She can never feel the warmth of a kiss from anyone. All these thoughts come pouring out at once; even if not stated explicitly, we can see the full range of emotions racing through Sayaka's mind. The result is downright heartbreaking.

Subsequent episodes of the show reveal the full extent of Sayaka's downfall and the anguished plights of her other friends, but none hit harder than "Can You Face Your True Feelings." While most other episodes translate their deepest meaning only through symbolism, "Can You Face Your True Feelings" allows its very dialogue to question the deeper implications of hamartia and the Faustian pact. The art is spectacular and expressive, featuring great character models, backgrounds, and animation. The animators even incorporate a number of unique styles to differentiate between characters' perspectives. The episode is perfectly structured to build up the viewer emotionally before completely shattering our hopes, much like the pact does to Sayaka. By the end, the viewer is an emotional wreck. Yet, as sad as the viewer feels, Sayaka has gotten beyond her pain, as she embraces her soulless side and mindlessly hacks into the body of a witch she has killed. Over and over again.

Number 3

"The Monsters Are Due On Maple Street" - The Twilight Zone

Ah, there are few things The Twilight Zone didn't do better than anything else. After all, it's the show that inspired the title to my blog. Yet, I have not seen every episode, or, indeed, a majority of the episodes. So, why do I praise it so much? A few years back, I saw a few sporadic episodes from the later seasons and loved all of them. But, when I did some research, I didn't even watch the most acclaimed episodes of the show. Thus, I've determined myself to watch every episode. Since then, I've used The Twilight Zone as a bit of a palate cleanser. When I watch a bad movie or a string of bad TV episodes from other shows, I turn on an episode of The Twilight Zone and take in all the brilliant writing, excellent acting, clever set design, and glorious atmosphere. In 2015, my favorite episode that I saw was "The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street" - one of the more popular episodes, to be sure, but undoubtedly one of the best.

When a suburban town suddenly loses power to all electronics, even battery-powered machines like cars, the townsfolk become considerably agitated. Suspicion begins to foment when one of the local boys, Tommy, describes a story he read in which aliens wiped out all power in a town and then used a sleeper agent to destroy the townsfolk. Most laugh Tommy off, but several coincidences make it appear as if some people might have more power than the rest. Soon, the citizens are at each others' throats, all accusing each other of being a sleeper agent intent on killing them. It's Cold War, Red Scare paranoia at its finest, with a twist ending perfectly suited to The Twilight Zone.

Most critics are content to merely describe "The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street" as a simple metaphor for McCarthyist America, but I think the parallel is more complex than the average review presents. All of the characters in "The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street" have their idiosyncrasies and quirks; these elements don't merely advance the plot but, rather, advance the metaphors of the episode. Pete Van Horn, the greatest victim of the episode, is a hard-working man merely trying to get his car to work. Being busy trying to find out what's going on, he stays away from the paranoid behavior of all the other characters. Ultimately, he's the only character to explicitly die in the episode, suggesting that the innocents are the real victims of Red Scare paranoia. Charlie Farnsworth, the most unlikeable character in the episode, is gluttonous and consumptive, nearly always chowing down on something while brashly accusing someone of being the sleeper agent. He fills in the capitalist stereotype quite nicely, proving the most cowardly and emotionally empty of the townsfolk. Les Goodman is an insomniac with few social graces; he's ultimately the first one accused, echoing the fates of foreigners in the US who haven't quite picked up all the social mores of the nation. They become the first scapegoats before the nation's people ultimately turn on each other. Helping all of this is the excellent acting: there's not one bad performance in the entire ensemble.

Yet the metaphor wouldn't work if not for The Twilight Zone's always immaculate pacing and editing. The tension of this episode mounts with each shot and musical cue. Every slight change to the status quo, from Les Goodman's car starting without warning to Van Horn ominously walking down the street, hammer swinging from his belt-loop, builds up momentum. Wide-angle lenses distort the human face as to make the townsfolk increasingly alien as the episode progresses. The final montage of chaos in the town is one of the most effective uses of montage in television history, perfectly accenting the horrors of small-town riots. The Twilight Zone never skimps out on detail, and "The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street" shows off the best of the show's film-level craft.

Needless to say, "The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street" is a superb episode of one of the greatest television series ever made. The episode is an indisputable classic able to maintain a tremendous reputation and critical standing. It's got craft, character, and clever writing. I certainly had a blast watching it, and any viewer will certainly see the same. What are you waiting for? See it now if you haven't already.

Number 2

"Face Off" - Breaking Bad

It wasn't the second coming of Shakespeare, but Breaking Bad was pretty damn good.

Last year, I expressed some skepticism at the massive critical acclaim of Breaking Bad. I thought it was just another post-Sopranos television drama about an anti-hero caught up in a relentlessly violent world. The hero becomes the villain? How many times have I seen that story again? Hm... Citizen Kane, The Godfather, Star Wars, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Doctor Who... and that's not even getting into the number of times comic books and classic literature have done this. While the show certainly had excellent production values and some strong episodes - "And the Bag's in the River" being especially memorable - it certainly didn't seem like a masterpiece from the get go. The second season had some pretty spectacular mis-steps, with more than a few plot points stretching my suspension of disbelief to unnatural limits. A show dedicated to hyper-realism has two planes crashing into each other during the season 2 finale - really? I can expect that kind of insanity on House of Cards, but not on this show. Yet, by the middle of Season 3, I can't deny that I was completely hooked. Breaking Bad might not be particularly original, but the sheer quality of its craft can win over even the most skeptical viewer. Any of the episodes from Seasons 3-5 could have made this episode, but I had to go with the most satisfying season finale I've seen in a long time - "Face Off."

By the end of Season 4, high school teacher turned meth cook Walter White has gotten into a rut with his employer, the nigh-invincible drug kingpin, Gustavo Fring. By this point, White has killed multiple members of Fring's gang so to protect himself; the only reason Fring has not killed him already is White's usefulness in producing methamphetamine. By "Face Off," Fring has found his substitute and is ready to kill Walter White and his entire family at the slightest provocation. In the preceding episode, White's partner, Jesse, nearly kills Walter when he suspects him to have poisoned a child so to keep Jesse's loyalty; Walter convinces him that Gus is the one responsible. After all, we have seen Fring murder children on the show previously. "Face Off" presents Jesse and Walter White at their direst hour, itching to kill Fring but being uncertain of the means. Finally, an opportunity reveals itself: Fring regularly visits a nursing home to taunt a former drug enforcer who ruined his life. Walter White thus prepares his most dangerous move ever, and the conclusion is truly explosive.

Needless to say, "Face Off" has plenty of excellent plot and character development. Particularly, this is a spectacular end to Gus's character arc. Gus has been an omnipresent threat to Walter White for two entire seasons. He's a truly Machiavellian villain, not only seizing immense power throughout the show's run but also maintaining it with clarifying acts of violence and an appropriate balance of carrots and sticks. Yet Gus's takedown comes from the tiniest weakness, the sole instance in which a bit of his humanity and hubris shows. The only way Gus could have saved himself would be to abandon his soul entirely and to wholly subsume himself into the corrupt life he has led. In a way, the end to his story in "Face Off" is the perfect way for him to depart the show.

Walter has his great character moments, too. While the first half of the episode shows his peaks of depression and fear, the final moments of the episode are a somber reflection on just how far he has fallen. When he declares that he has "won" at the very end of the episode, the entire season becomes hollow. The full-out war between Gus and White becomes little more than a game, in which everyone else has become a pawn on the chess board. When the final shot reveals Walter White's true trump card, the audience feels sick for rooting for him for an entire season. More than any other episode in the series, "Face Off" shows Walter White at his most dangerous and foul; thus, it's one of the most engaging of the entire show.

But, aside from the character depth, "Face Off" is an intense thrill ride. Vince Gilligan certainly knows how to create suspense in the Hitchcockian sense. "Face Off" continues Breaking Bad's run of impeccable camera work, using all the right angles to highlight Bryan Cranston's excellent acting and emphasize central set details. There's a true craft to making something as unbelievable and occasionally ludicrous as Breaking Bad look believable; the show clearly mastered that craft come "Face Off." It's no wonder superficial fans of the show think they can behave in the fashion of Walter White or Jesse when the show provides so much cursory detail. The editing is excellent, the sound production is practically surreal, and the pacing is pitch-perfect. There's not a milliliter of extra chemical in this episode.

Really, my praising "Face Off" is actually redundant. You've all heard Breaking Bad is an excellent show. Hell, the majority of people reading probably watched it before I did. If you're late to the game, get started. It's worth it, especially for episodes like this. But, while Breaking Bad is undeniably great... it's not quite a masterpiece. That title can only go to one episode of television I saw this year.

Number One

"Azure, Paler than the Sky" - Revolutionary Girl Utena

Some television episodes force the viewer to question the structure of the show. Some television episodes force the viewer to challenge his/her own perception of a character. But few television episodes force a viewer to question his/her own outlook on, well... life itself. But that's exactly what "Azure, Paler than the Sky" did to me. Aside from "Walkabout" from Lost, no other episode of television has ever affected me so viscerally as "Azure, Paler Than the Sky." It might not be as exemplary in its craft as "Lonely Souls," "Passion," or "Face Off," but it engaged me in a way no other television episode has ever been able to replicate.

Revolutionary Girl Utena centers around a group of students using a girl named Anthy as their personal trophy, or, rather, a means to "revolutionize the world." One of their classmates, Utena, determined to be a noble prince, rightfully objects to their treatment of Anthy and tries to put a stop to their nonsense by dueling them. But, though Utena is able to rescue Anthy, the students keep coming to take her back, each gradually revealing the complex and often disturbing reasons why they want to "revolutionize the world." Of these antagonists, the best written is Juri, a closeted lesbian determined to disprove the existence of miracles after her heart was broken by her best friend and love interest. In her first character-centric episode, she seemed little more than a spiteful girl trying to ruin love for everyone simply because she couldn't find it. But, as the seasons progress, we learn just how fraught and complex Juri's love life is.

Though Juri is a lesbian - in fact, she's the only character in the entire show that's explicitly homosexual (implicit homosexuality is all over the place) - her sexual orientation by no means defines her. She's a relentless perfectionist, a far superior duelist to everyone else in the school, unfailingly loyal, determined yet cold: she is not one to be defined by stereotypes of homosexuals. However, Juri does have a sinister way of defining herself: her relationship, or, rather, her lack thereof, with her once best friend, a girl named Keiko. Keiko is, to put it bluntly, a complete and utter b****. I do not say this to imply that Keiko has any obligation to have a romantic relationship with Juri. Far from it. The problem is that Keiko intentionally and mercilessly taunts Juri: she dates multiple guys wholly for the purpose of spiting Juri, openly insults Juri on multiple occasions, and even uses Juri's life energy as a weapon in the Black Rose saga (it's complicated). Yet, in spite of Keiko's best efforts, Juri's feelings for her persist. Juri doesn't actively pursue Keiko, but she still takes Keiko's abuse, even when it's very clear that Keiko is harming her just to boost her own ego.

Prhaps Juri deserves the pain. After all, she did toy with someone else's entire life for months prior to Utena's arrival at the school. She did try to destroy the concept of miracles and love for everyone. But, unlike the other students trying to control Anthy, Juri stops trying to revolutionize the world after one defeat. She realizes that her intentions were wrong and does what she can to repent. Making matters worse, most of Keiko's cruelest actions happen after Juri's conversion. Thus, the audience is put into a difficult moral place: is this a just punishment for someone who once manipulated another's entire life? These plot points lie in the background for most of the other episodes of the third season, waiting for "Azure, Paler Than the Sky" to bring them to the center. At the core of it all lies a single question: why do we love someone when that love only hurts us?

In the preceding episode, we meet Ruka, the former fencing captain who has been absent from school due to an illness. He's a highly formidable duelist; after all, Juri, the current captain, was merely his replacement. Upon his return, Keiko, so to spite Juri further, starts dating Ruka; the power couple's popularity certainly doesn't bode well for Juri's emotional health. Ruka also decides to take Anthy for himself, but he loses his duel with Utena. Seeing that Ruka is a new character, we don't care too much about him other than his past with Juri. We see Juri feeling inferior to Ruka, from both her dialogue and her body language. His dating Keiko is but another injury. Thus, by the time Ruka loses, we want him to fail not only because he's trying to control Anthy but because he's also hurting Juri all the more. But he's a good deal more complex than we'd expect.

At the end of the episode, Ruka publicly breaks up with Keiko, socially ruining her. As it turns out, Ruka was manipulating Keiko the entire time, making her think he had fondness for her so that he might draw out the full extent of Juri's rage. Ruka has realized that Juri's skills now surpass his own, and he wants to get her back in the game. When the emotionally-addicted Juri comes to Keiko's defense, asking that Ruka date her again, Ruka blackmails Juri into fighting in the duels again. Juri, indignant, demands that they duel to settle the matter. She loses. Thus, in the last ten minutes of the episode, Juri once again battles Utena for control of Anthy's life. But, this time, Juri's not fighting for the sake of controlling someone else. She's not even fighting for herself. She's fighting for her loved one's happiness, even if it's fake. Thus, the battle has higher stakes than any other prior duel.

Yet the battle between Utena and Juri is passionless as compared to the duel against Ruka, the one that actually mattered. Why? Thus, I thought more deeply about the situation and came to a realization. Juri isn't fighting for Keiko's happiness, but Keiko's enslavement. Ruka clearly does not care for Keiko; any relationship they could have would be hollow. Plus, Keiko doesn't really care all that much for Ruka as a person. The only reason she cares about their breakup is the social fallout from being rejected by the most popular boy in the school. The relationship's only function is that of spiting and hurting Juri. Thus, the only reason Juri keeps fighting is to chain herself to her own pain. It's practically masochistic... That's when I realized that Juri wasn't actually fighting for Keiko. She's fighting to keep herself in a state of constant suffering, as if that's what "true love" demands.
My favorite shot in anything, film or television, that I saw in 2015.

But, just when I thought I'd figured it out, "Azure, Paler than the Sky" throws a huge wrench into the mix. In every other duel in the show, Utena wins by cutting off the rose on her opponent's chest. In this duel, Utena accidentally cuts off Juri's locket - a locket holding a picture of Keiko. Utena falls, giving Juri plenty of time to cut off her rose and control Anthy's life once again. We've come full circle, with an opponent with a motivation pure enough (in her own mind, at least) to rival Utena's. Yet, right as we think Utena is about to lose, Juri cuts off her own rose. And it starts to rain.

Some might say that losing the locket means that Juri gets over Keiko and decides to fend for herself. The message is not clear cut. What's definitely clear is that Juri finally begins to question why she loves Keiko rather than accepting her love for Keiko as a fact. Why should she fight on behalf of someone who has done nothing but hurt her? Why does she intentionally harm herself out of a misbegotten sense of self-suffering unrequited love? Going further, does Juri need to feel like she should be in love with someone so as not to feel alone? As the last few minutes of the episode elapse, yet more questions come forward. Can two people who are alone provide each other solace? Or, can they only cause each other pain? Is overcoming a misplaced love a hopeful process, or does is the scar permanent? Each of these questions peels off the episode as the petals of Juri's rose, washing away in the rain.

The last two scenes of "Azure, Paler Than the Sky" are some of my favorite in any visual medium I've ever seen, manipulating shadows and sunsets to create a sense of emotional ambiguity that's at once inspiring and haunting. We see Juri functioning as an emotionally stable human being once again. Meanwhile, Ruka and Keiko, two people who both tried to use Juri for their own ends, have ends to their character arcs that offer up a great deal of redemption for both. Yet, as with everything in Revolutionary Girl Utena, we can't take what we see at face value. The dialogue keeps all conclusions ambiguous. That's what makes this episode all the more rewarding. It doesn't have a clear answer, and every viewer will come up with a different conclusion. Needless to say, it's the perfect ending to a perfect episode.

The National Review's contrarian/hack critic, Armond White, once claimed television could never be visual art, but only visual entertainment. "Azure, Paler Than the Sky" is proof his assertion has little to no merit. All of these episodes have artistic merit, but "Azure, Paler Than the Sky" is art for its own sake. It's got great animation, impeccable voice acting, marvelous scriptwriting, fantastic artwork, breathtaking pacing, and complex themes. This is the type of anime episode I was looking for when I started looking into more Japanese shows last year. It's the kind of episode I can wholly endorse, with no qualms about sexism, saccharinity, or stupidity. I absolutely encourage everyone reading this to track down Revolutionary Girl Utena and watch it: it's the kind of show that can seriously change the way one thinks about television. This episode certainly changed everything for me.